For every girl being a mother has always been an emotional moment in their life. Because they go through various stages and it’s the most precious moment for them.
In some ways it’s special, but on the other, it can be a traumatizing experience for mothers especially those who end up losing their newborn right after giving birth or if the baby is stillborn.
Pakistani actress Zara Noor Abbas who also went through the agonizing process with her firstborn Aurangzeb.
Zara bravely not only talked about the situation she went through after a great loss but also about how our healthcare system failed to accommodate her mental anguish at the distressing time.
Zara Noor Abbas on her loss
On Sunday, Zara Noor Abbas shared a clip on her Instagram account, where she spoke about the aftermath of her trauma, the negligence of the healthcare system, and society’s lack of applause for women who pick themselves up and are resilient after such a grave loss.
She put some light on the empathy on the part of medical professionals, the actress shared how she was denied anxiety medicines despite asking for them to help her sleep through the night — especially since she had a history of dealing with depression.
“It’s always a task to talk about what you have lost forever. But after so much discussion and a few months later, I could finally talk my heart out with my beautiful and compassionate friend, Frieha Altaf, and share my experience of the healthcare system, the negligence, the aftermath of trauma, and how women clap so little for themselves and don’t know how brave and strong they are when it comes to resilience,” read her caption.
Who stayed with her in a tough time?
Zara Noor Abbas also shed some light on her tough time and recall those who were standing with her. Zara said, “Looking at it now, it is a lot of support from the family, very less [from] friends, I think one or two, maybe four. It has to do a lot with my family.
Asad, of course, because it was his child also. When you have a child together, it makes your bond extremely beautiful but when you lose a child together, it makes your bond extremely beautiful also. I think Asad and I have seen the worst and now we ask, ‘What else will we see?
Okay, it’s God’s will.’ Everything for me and Asad ends at whatever God wills because whatever is His will is His will. Yes, there’s an extreme sense of loss and I think I’m still grieving.”
Zara also added that she initially went through a phase where she self-blamed herself just like other mothers do after a loss. “I did at a point. I thought maybe I didn’t eat right, maybe I didn’t make myself strong enough, maybe I should have lost more weight before conceiving, become thinner, maybe I should have had an intake of vitamins, maybe I should’ve taken folic acid.
But all of that is a ‘maybe’. God gives a child to even those who aren’t physically stable. He gives to those He wants to give to and takes from those He wants to take from.”
Mothers should take care of their mental health
Zara Noor Abbas further encouraged mothers to take care of their mental health as much as they can. She said, “What I think women should know more about is that you can have a short cervix, you can have missing amniotic fluid in your system, you can have a weak uterus but all of these things you’ll never know before time.
That is the beauty and payback of it. Until and unless a woman is pregnant, you cannot figure out these things.
And when you’re pregnant, this is a huge miracle so try and take care of yourself mentally and physically as much as you can. Because as important as your physical being is, you’re mental being is much more important than that.”
She also added that a stillbirth does not make you any less of a mother. “Loss, I think, is a lifelong thing. I am a mother and he was my firstborn,” she said. Zara continued with how to deal with the sense of hopelessness that follows such a loss.
“One more thing I’d like to add is that loss brings you to a point where you don’t want to do anything again or try anything again or you’re scared of getting attached to people again because you think that this might repeat like before,” she said.
Zara recently supported Alia Bhatt on fabricated news regarding her pregnancy.
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