Even though we are living in the 21st century, there are people in Pakistan who still live by ancient ideologies. These mindsets, which are especially related to oppressing women present in a household, are hugely practiced and sternly believed upon to be the absolute right ones. Our lifestyles may be getting updated but our minds are not. That is why some of us have failed to realize that societal pressure and imaginary norms and beliefs are nothing but a cause of a headache.
There is this emotional story of a girl that every parent should read, and realize that falling under societal pressure can be a huge mistake:
Here is Usman Ghani, who shares a story he learned about his classmate:
Something’s been pinching me for some days now. Thought of letting it out of my system by sharing it here. Here goes…….
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
This particular girl was quite a star
There was this girl in my school, back in 90’s. Brilliant, studious, hard working, very confident, a topper, a debater, a class prefect….
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
We were class fellows. She was the kind of girl with whom boys talked after rehearsing. Despite mad competition between us, we were friends.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Healthy university competitions are nothing but motivation for people
I guess the proudest moments of my school and college life were whenever I scored better than her in exams. Couldn’t beat her in confidence
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
To Go For A Job Or Pursue Masters? I guess they figured it out!
We both chose engineering after college and graduated. I chose to work in an industry and she chose to pursue Masters in engineering.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
As mentioned earlier, this girl is intelligent!
Later, she joined one of the best universities of the country as a lecturer in Engineering. That’s when her parents decided to marry her off
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
However…
An arranged marriage in a well off family meant that she had to quit job & live as a house wife. This wasn’t all, guy was a college dropout.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
She resisted as much as she could. But after sometime, she agreed to everything saying, “my parents are too old& scared of me being single”.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
“My parents are too old and scared of me being single,”
Parents, too old and too scared. That was the reason for this brilliant girl to give up all her dreams, her ego and her career.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Such was her luck…
The guy was nearly an uneducated, spoiled brat of a business family who couldn’t stomach a woman having an education, or an opinion, or ego.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
These type of men are a disease to society
In no time after her wedding she realized that he was verbally and physically abusive and his family supported and encouraged all this.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
She needs to rise up and stand tall for herself
But she kept quiet in the face of all abuse because her parents were too old and too scared.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
She had no money to spend on herself and her husband never bothered to give her a penny. She had already quit her job. So there was no way.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
These men are just cowards who have seen their mothers getting beaten up.
Very recently she texted me that her husband had beaten her and given her talaaq twice and if after two times talaaq she could live with him
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Someone needs to let her parents know about their mistake
Shocked, I asked why would she live with a man so abusive and so insulting.
Her reply was, “My parents are too old…. sick and scared.”— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Girls, please read this carefully:
Girls! Your parents love you. But one day, they will be old, sick and scared. DO NOT QUIT YOUR CAREER FOR MARRIAGE.
Earn you own money.— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
It does not matter if you’re thirty or thirty five, do not marry, I say DO NOT MARRY a man you feel is unsuitable for you.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Parents! One day, you will be old, sick and scared. Please raise your daughters as persons and not as commodity. Let them work and earn.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Teach your girls to live on their own and never depend on a man for their survival. Do not force them to marry if there is no compatibility.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Parents! Don’t panic if your girl is in 30’s & single. Let her pursue her dreams. Don’t blackmail your girl for marriage. This isn’t love.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Girls! Do not be blackmailed in the name of family, honor or parents. You are the ones who have to live with the man, YOU decide.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Parents! Teach your sons to respect women. Teach them that they’re marrying a human being and they’re equals. Let your daughter-in-law work.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Girls! It’s great to have a loving and caring life partner. But if love and care is not there, walk away. Have means and money to walk away.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) 15 February 2017
Thank you for sharing this story with all of us, Usman Ghani. It will be truly amazing to know that this girl fought back, and is now well-settled and content. Surely, mental and physical torture to women are deeds of wretched and lost souls.
