Finding the perfect bahu is no less than a marathon in Pakistan. It can take years to find the perfect one. If you’re in your twenties and your parents, relatives and random aunties have been questioning you about your marriage or if you’ve been rejected, note down these following qualities you should instill in yourself to live a happily married life. No kidding!

Here we go, ladies!

1. Whenever you’re done with your house chores, spend your time with your extended family. They’re going to love it!

As if you don’t have a life of your own. Yeah, sure, go ahead. Khushi se. 

2. Don’t eat too much. Limit your food to that of a bird’s appetite.

Faaqay hi karlo. Why even eat so little? 

3. You should be gori, highly educated and let’s not miss out on the perfect figure.

If you’re dark, just did your masters and are super skinny or fat. Forget it. You’re not getting married.

4. Cover your head at all times. No ifs or buts.

A ‘nanga sar’ is totally unacceptable. No matter what. The dupatta should be there at ALL times on your HEAD. Have your head covered at all times!

5. Sharmana plays a huge role on your character. So be shy at all times. No one likes a besharam bahu.

If you don’t want to be a labeled a ‘besharam’ you need to be shy at all times. You’re not allowed to say much. If you do, you’ll be considered besharam.

Are you ladies taking notes?

6. You should be a pro at cooking. Your food should be like MAGIC!

It’s true that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So ya’ll better get yourself enrolled at a fancy culinary school before you get married. 

7. Say yes to everything. Agree with everything your in-laws say.

Memorize this word – YES. Your answer should be YES to everything. A NO will not be accepted.

8. Be on standby mode for your mother-in-law every second.

You never know what she might need at 3 in the morning. Stay by her. She might need you. 

9. Forget your ‘Maika’. Do not say the ‘M’ word in front of your in-laws because the answer’s going to be a simple’NO’.

Do you realize how it pisses them off when you ask your mother-in-law if you go to your mum’s place? Never ask her. It could ruin your relationship.

10. Don’t forget to update your Facebook status to ‘feeling happy, feeling blessed and feeling loved with my in-laws’ every now and then.

Even if you’re not happy, it is mandatory for you to upload a Facebook status every now and then showing the world how happy and blessed you are to have such in-laws.

Oh, and don’t forget to change your post status to ‘public.’

Disclaimer: It would be sad to learn if you didn’t understand this article. It was a satiricial piece. 

We know, we know, our society is now changing the way they think, but the truth is, a lot of girls have taken their lives just because they have been rejected so many times. It’s time to bring an end to this for once and for all.

Lastly, ladies, the societal expectations are endless, therefore, we must learn how to ignore the societal pressure and just relax for everything to happen just as God has planned it to be. Indeed, he has something perfect planned for you.