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Growing up in a Pakistani household, we’ve all been beaten when we were young. In fact, not just in a Pakistani household, punishing children is pretty common amongst people. For some parents, punishing the kids means teaching the kids discipline. Is that so? However, for some parents, giving them the death stare, yelling and shouting at them does the trick.
I, too, was raised like that. Yes, I was beaten at a very old age. I was beaten with a clothes’ hanger, leather belts, flying chappals and yes, thappars and mukkay were a very normal thing. It also hurt. I used to cry for hours. I used to be scared and traumatized for a few days just so I don’t accidentally do anything ‘wrong’ that I don’t know of.
As I grew up, I learned the same as I knew that this is the right way of raising your child. I dealt with my children the same way. I used to beat them, shout at them and what not; without realizing that I’m damaging their personalities. I started hating myself and regretting those times when I used to physically abuse my children.
However, it took me a while to realize that it is all wrong. I was wrong. My children were innocent. How would they know if something’s right or wrong in the first place if they’re punished every single time? I realized that a child needs to be taught about his/her surroundings and what is right or wrong.
I started off by calming myself down when I used to be furious. I, then, began to sit with them and explain to them in the most polite manner. I opted for educating them instead of punishing them. I started noticing a massive difference. Indeed, it requires a lot of time and patience but, hang in there. If I can, so can you.
However, I do believe that the death stare actually works. 😛
Happy parenting!
