There’s this one question that has always been left answered. In a relationship, conflicts arise when the role of a husband and wife are not very clear. The husband tries to suppress her by abusing her, raising his voice at her and what not. What do the husbands have to say in this regard? However, when a woman shares her concern to seek help, she is often asked to wait patiently and let it go… WHY?

On the other side,  when the wife happens to do the same, her character is slandered and she’s called ill-mannered, not the right wife, and the situation even leads to separation or divorce. WHY? See, our religion isn’t harsh with any of the two genders and does not allow injustice in any case.

This matter has been explained and made clear in a beautiful hadith below:

 

A husband is rude, abusive and bad-tempered: the wife is told to have sabr and reminded what a good Muslim wife does.

A wife is rude and bad-tempered: the husband is told to find a more pious wife, she is told women don’t act this way and her character slandered.

It is reported that a man came to ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (radhiAllahu anhu) to complain about his wife’s ill-temper. While he was waiting for ‘Umar to come out of his house, he heard ‘Umar’s wife scolding him and ‘Umar quietly listening to her, and not answering her back. The man turned around and started walking away, muttering to himself: “If that is the case with ‘Umar, the leader of the believers, who is famous for his uprightness and toughness, then what about poor me?!” At that moment, ‘Umar came out of his house and saw the man walking away. He called him and said, “What is it you want to me, O man?” The man replied: “O leader of the believers, I came to complain to you about my wife’s bad-temper and how she nags me. Then I heard your wife doing the same to you, so I turned around, muttering to myself, ‘If that is the situation of the leader of the believers, then what about me?'” ‘Umar replied, “O my brother, I bear with her because of her rights over me. She cooks my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes, breast-feeds my child…and yet none of these are her duty, and then she is a comfort to my heart and keeps me away from forbidden deeds. Consequently, I bear with her.” The man said, “It is the same with me, O leader of the believers.” ‘Umar said: “Then, O my brother, be patient with her, indeed this life is short. (Adh-Dhahabi, Al-Kabâ’ir 194)

Why does no-one give this answer?!

https://www.facebook.com/happymuslimfamly/posts/1108822399157019

Our religion is not that difficult. We, the people, have made it so complicated and hard to understand, that we fail to study it and fail to act upon the beautiful teachings. This hadith is for every husband and wife out there, who has probably experienced a similar situation. There, you now have the answer.

May Allah guide us all.