Every day, we get to see so many married couples sharing appreciation posts on social media platforms about how blessed and thankful they are to have such amazing partners by their side in their ups and downs of life, but rarely anyone shares the actual side of living a married life and how women, especially have to deal with their in-laws.

We only get to see one side of the story and always tend to miss out on the reality that’s hiding behind the curtains. Many men and women share the brutal reality of how in-laws tend to interfere in the couple’s lives and how torturous it feels when you don’t have the power to have control over things in your very own personal life.

Something very similar was shared last night as an anonymous post on Facebook and it gave us a food for thought.

Here’s what the person had to say:

“A married woman will go to her parent’s home with her husband for a short visit, after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start running around to make sure their son-in-law is comfortable. He will be well fed, well entertained and well taken care of. No one expects him to lift a finger to do anything, because he is a special guest, their daughter’s husband.

Turn the table.

A married man goes to his parent’s home with his wife for a short visit, immediately after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start looking at their son’s wife with corner eye to see if she’ll go to the kitchen and join in cooking. She will sometimes be expected to take over the cooking and serve everyone, with a broad smile on her face. After a meal, they will be watching her see if she will clear the table, wash the plates and clean the kitchen. No one gives her any special treatment like the special guest she is.

After all who is she? An ordinary woman! If she doesn’t do any of the chores expected of her, her mother-in-law will start ‘beefing’ her and may become hostile towards her. Her sisters-in-law will start grumbling and sometimes become outright rude to her. She will be called for a meeting, her home training will be questioned and her wife material length measured. 

She will be berated, called lazy, mannerless and all sorts of derogatory names. Her husband will even be chastised for not controlling and disciplining his wife enough. She may most likely leave her in-law’s home sad, physically and emotionally drained. What was meant to be a short vacation or visit eventually turns out to be hard labor filled with misery, tears, and regrets?

My annoyance is that it’s always women making life uncomfortable and miserable for their fellow women in cases like this. It’s always women who encourage or make excuses for men who go out of their way to hurt or harass their fellow women. It’s always women putting unnecessary pressure on their fellow women. It’s always women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy.

Can’t a woman visit her in-laws and be treated specially for the few hours or days she will stay, just like we do to our son’s in-law when they visit us? Take it or leave it, most married women in our society would rather spend holidays with their own family than with their in-laws, because of the above reasons.

The other day, I read a lady complaining that her mother was sweeping and her brother’s wife didn’t go to take the broom from her and continue the sweeping. Mind you, the complainant and her other siblings were there too, yet she felt it was her brother’s wife’s duty to go help her mum.

This morning again, I stumbled on a post where a lady was complaining that her sister-in-law visited and didn’t enter the kitchen to cook.
Who was cooking for them before her sister-in-law came? Would she have said so if it was her husband or her sister’s husband that visited? When I see such posts or hear people make such complaints, I get really mad. I hate double standards. I hate it with the passion!! It’s about time we do away with the tradition that enslaves women at their In-laws.  The blessed weekend to u all.

Such issues are thought-provoking and need to be brought up on different social media platforms to spread awareness. This way a lot of women who feel like they’re the only ones going through this will know that they’re not alone in this matter and we are here to give them a voice to speak up and fight for their rights.

What do you guys think of this matter? Share your thoughts in the comments down below.