Struggles – the moments that either define you or break you; the incidents that are not given much importance first, but end up being a lesson call for those who are sailing in the same boats. Many feel ashamed of sharing their struggle stories because of the constant pressure from the society. The victim is told to remain quiet, for it may temper their image, the reputation of their kids or the reputation of the family. But does anybody stand for the victim? Does anyone lend their shoulder to those in suffering?
Tanya Imran, the Proud Daughter of a Mother Who Began Living her Life at the Age of 35, Narrates the Story of her Mom in the Most Beautiful Manner:
In August 1995, my mother was 35 years old. She had spent the last 13 years of her life as a stay at home mom, her life comprised of her four children, a failing marriage and an extreme hatred for household chores!
As a young girl, Amma had been extraordinary. She had a will of her own and was the only daughter in a family of six.
She was the jewel of the crown, she spoke well, she wrote well…she had an undeniable charm.
By the year 1995, she was almost unrecognizable. She was a shadow of her former self.
As a family we were going through the worst financial crunch, the phone had long become a privilege we had learned to live without, the electricity company threatened to cut off the supply every month.
Here is the truth about being a poor unit in a well-to-do family. You have to keep up appearances. You have to attend weddings and give gifts, you have to keep your children in good schools, you have to keep them looking presentable. You have to pretend to be a part of your social circle, all the while sliding down the slippery scale of complete bankruptcy.
A Smart Woman Indeed – See How She Channelled her Way to the Top While Finding Means to Give the Best to her Children
By the summer of 1995, my mother had come to the conclusion, the only way my siblings and I could stay in our “good schools” was if she started to teach there, and avail the discounts being offered to employees.
At the ripe young age of 35, my mother became a teacher. This was her first job ever.
She was nervous and she was excited. I remember that day, the last day right before vacations were coming to an end.
Like a little kid, who can’t wait for school to start, my 35 year old mother laid out her fresh ironed shalwar kurta on the bed. She placed her wedges at the foot, she stood in front of her closet, unable to pick one of her two handbags.
I remember the feeling. It was exciting and reverberating. The tension that gripped our family room had given way to something electric! You could feel the spark in the air.
At 35 my mother found her way, her purpose. she came alive in the class room. She was charismatic and enchanting-not to mention beautiful-for the audience of young boys that sat before her, holding on to her every word- infatuated, understood and respected.
She was the parent they wish they had, the friend they needed. she connected with those 15-year-old boys better than she had connected with anyone else in a while.
As she became more attuned to her inner calling, she became a better parent. A few years later, she also became the sole provider for the family.
What I remember from that difficult time in our lives is the strength with which she bore the burden of a family and a career.
Some of my favorite childhood memories are from when Amma would come home late in the evening, tired to the bone, but would find some last reserve of energy to tell us exciting details of the day she had had, pulling out a little treat from her handbag for us to share…giggling over the events of the day.
These are some of my fondest memories, snuggled in bed with my siblings, eating cupcakes, dry fruit or kinoos. There, under the covers, we knew we were okay, no matter what was happening in the world around us, in the bed, huddled together, we would be fine.
This was the only part of the day we had her all to ourselves, and in these stolen moments of undisturbed bonding, she taught us about goodness, kindness and compassion.
My mother started as a substitute teacher at a salary of Rs 7000 twenty three years ago. Today, she is one of the most sought-after academics and administrators in the city.
Over the course of these 23 years, she has become the woman she always had the potential of becoming.
Over these years I have learned so much from her, I have learned that it’s never too late to find your way in life.
I’ve learned that the only thing that matters is your belief in your own conviction.
I’ve learned that the hero that you need to save you from your demons is inside you. You have to save yourself.
I’ve learned that if you strive to protect the goodness inside you, you will come out stronger, braver.
I remember that day in the summer of 1995. It was the day I learned there is no force greater than a woman determined to change her circumstances.
Read Tanya’s Full Post Here:
Years later, the struggles of Tanya’s mother defined her. This goes out to every woman who is currently struggling to win the purpose of her life back.
May you shine as bright as this charismatic woman did. And to Tanya’s mom – you, ma’am, are indeed an inspiration! <3