Desis are back at it again with the marriage questions and along with thousands of unmarried women, Zara Peerzada too has had enough. The questions are hurled at the young women in our societies as early as them just stepping into their twenties. Their accomplishments, their achievements, their milestones, how far they have come as a person and as a professional is so sweetly ignored and put to the side to highlight the issue at hand by the society which is marriage.

Marriage is a goal. Period. It is the highest achievement a woman can attain and without the Mrs. Medal, your worth will be questioned every step of the way by everyone. The intensity of questions will be increased as the time passes by with your increasing age and no sight of a husband by your side.

Let’s not even dive into the rishta parade that you unwillingly become a part of, having painful small talks, answering the same questions over and over again trying not to sound sarcastic. Been there? Exhausted? Zara Peerzada seems to be in the same boat and has spoken, rather quite extensively about this subject on her Instagram. I found her post almost poetic, where she beautifully described her painful experience.

“When will you get married?” is the question she was asked 17 times in just 5 days

“Why is marriage my only goal, or the only one anyone is interested in?”, asked Zara

She continues to share her views and says – “The ‘when’ always turns into a ‘why aren’t you?’ – to which, I’ve realized, there is no correct response.” Zara adds that when given the answer “I am not ready” she is met with blank stares.

Marriage seems to be the only measuring scale for a woman’s worth, it seems. 

Peerzada continued, “Stop making women feel like they are underachieved or doomed because they are not married. Stop making women feel like they are falling behind or missing out. Stop making women feel like this is something they need to be happy about.”

Here’s Zara’s Instagram Post!

View this post on Instagram

This week was exhausting. Minimal sleep, maximum discomfort, anxiety on fleek (On fleek? Are people still saying that? I hope not). This week, in a span of 5 days, I was asked when I’m getting married 17 times. Not that this in any way is a novel occurrence for the Pakistani woman. I would say, even taking fashion week into account – 17 times is a bit excessive. The ‘when’ always turns into a ‘why aren’t you?’ – to which, I’ve realised there is no correct response (‘I’m not ready’ being the worst). This question, (posed by whichever scumoftheearth, distant acquaintance, monkeybottom, aunt’s cousin, personstandingnexttoyouaccidentally, would never be invited to your wedding anyway, snozzwanger) is just a prelude to the inevitable ‘let me reinforce everything society’s told you, in case you missed the memo about The Doom of the Unmarried’ (distributed weekly) spiel masked in concern, loosely laced with horror. They are met with this cocked head and blank stare. Why is marriage my only goal, or the only one anyone is interested in? Friends, countrymen, strangers at the gynaecologist. Stop making women feel like they’re underachieved or doomed because they are not married. Stop making women feel like they’re falling behind or missing out. Stop making women feel like this is something they need to be happy. Stop thinking there’s something wrong with women who aren’t married. Stop reminding them that you’re watching. Stop assuming they’re unhappy. Stop assuming that even if they are, they want to talk to you about it. Stop asking women things that are none of your god damn business. #onfleek

A post shared by Zara Peerzada (@zarapeerzada) on Apr 17, 2019 at 3:23am PDT

Comments Zara Peerzada Received On This Post

I second this. She has a flair for writing. 

This user shares her ordeal and we understand.

It’s not just women who face this, men go through it as well. 

This is the conversation that not only needs to be discussed on larger platforms like social media but in fact should be brought up in chai sessions with your immediate family, with your relatives (especially your relatives) too; although at this point it seems like a lost cause but is worth trying, nonetheless. This isn’t an issue on a personal level, it is far greater than that. Here’s where they are wrong, there is no problem with marrying at a young age since it is entirely the girl’s own choice; considering it something that needs to be ‘achieved’ is where it needs fixing. Goals and targets shouldn’t be mixed with pursuits like marriage that will happen when the time is right. Don’t sweat it.