According to research, infertility is a term used when a couple fails to get pregnant after consistent unprotected sex for a year, at least. It is recommended for the couple to engage in intercourse after every two to three to days without fail, for a year to get pregnant. However, if there are no results, then it is advised to visit a doctor.
Infertility has a number of causes, it is not definitive to blame a woman solely. In most cases, the man is at blame just as equally. In most scenarios, couples have their entire lives planned out. As in when they plan to get married, at what age do they want their first child, when do they want their second child and so on. When they can’t meet their deadlines, they feel as if their destiny is out of control and life isn’t working out as they hoped it would. This drops their self-esteem by a large portion and thus, they enter into a marital depression.
The loss isn’t limited or bounded to just the couple, but it ends up affecting their families, people they know and love and even the society they live in. People start assuming different things, they try to speculate as much as they can. This speculation doesn’t help the couple to conceive, but it sure makes another mountain of problems stand tall in front of them. This whole process holds a countless loss for everyone. A few of them include loss on getting pregnant, being able to continue a legacy, loss of a chance to become a parent or give your parents the chance to become grandparents, instability in life, loss of control etc.
This is especially applicable in our desi society where women are victimized and blamed for not being able to give birth. Mahulaay wali aunties are the first ones to come forth and ask “Beta, bacha kab hoga?”. The worst part is, that they ask this question shaadi kay 2 din bad. Infertility is a serious issue that is often laughed upon by our culture. So many husbands have divorced their wives just because she was infertile! How is that the woman’s fault? Why punish her for something she never asked for or is responsible for?
Having children may not seem like a big thing, but for a ton of people, it is all they ever want to achieve. For somebody whose life revolves around giving birth and then not being able to do it, is the most tragic and heartbreaking thing to ever happen to them. There are some people who are divorced and have children from their previous partners but want at least one more child from their new love interest that fail to conceive as well.
Infertility isn’t a new thing, it has prevailed for centuries. Please understand that there are always options. Adopting a child may make you feel more complete or help with your self-esteem. While giving birth is the most natural and beautiful blessing there is, adopting a helpless child that has been abandoned by his/her birth parents is even more beautiful. Because not only have you helped a child find their perfect home but you have brought hope and light back into their world. If that’s not the best thing humanly possible, then I’m not sure what is.
Explore your options as much as you can. Medicines can help cure infertility as well. There is always a reason behind why things are the way they are.
