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Someone messaged me, “Aunty, Nana Abu Allah k Sachay Rastay per chalay gaiye,” I thought someone had sent this message to a wrong person. Then I read it again and again and again.. the person who died was my father. My father. Ya Allah, why?

I was about to buy a branded pair of shoes, a watch, and comfortable socks for him. I was about to take him to Canada to live with me. I was about to video call him tonight. There were a lot of things I was about to discuss with him and he left everything behind even his favorite daughter and went away just like that.

I remembered the time when I was little, he always used to buy toys for me even after my marriage and he used to send me some money every month for my shopping. They said that he is in ICU. I prayed a lot and was hoping that when Abu came back from the hospital, I will send gifts for him.

But Abu decided not to come back. That’s when I saw him for the last time before two years when he came to the airport with me. When he was saying his goodbye, he started crying and sat down. I can never forget those eyes filled with tears.

On the day of my rukhsati, he cried and asked me, “Ja rahi ho, beta?” to which I didn’t reply and just started crying. Now, he is gone. I didn’t even say goodbye.

In a country of dreams like Canada, for the first time, I feel jailed. I was bound. They buried him I couldn’t even see him for the last time. I wanted to touch him for one last time, but it was impossible. Everything is finished.

May Allah bless him with the highest rank in Jannat ul Firdaus, Ameen.