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After many days, I decided to write because meeting Pakistani aunties always gave me an episode of depression, literally full blown one. We should call them auntyism like exorcism. Now, what these typical aunties have to talk about or to chat about is, forcing their authority over each and everything they have learned from life (which is typically consisted of their in-laws and how they avenge them after a certain time period and this achievement have made them narcissistic).
So, after suffering here comes a sense of achievement which made them snob and give authority to criticise what everything other women do. The way other women maintain their weight, dressing, hair, home, kitchen, maids, how other women use their cutlery when the guest arrives with the tag of “I AM SO STRAIGHT FORWARD IT MIGHT HURT LISTENING” base. So today, I am going to correct you, my straightforward anties (aunties is just a verbatim for the mindset which can belong to any girl in our society).
Yes, I want to correct you guys that if any of you have enough sense or study enough or educated enough, you might know that being straightforward till it hurts is just another passive way of yours to avenge yourself on society. Otherwise, there are a million ways in which we can communicate assertively and that doesn’t make other person’s hand itch to slap you hard in the face. After spreading your thoughtfulness around you, you just peacefully walk away like nothing happened and expect other women to pretend nothing happened and meet you next time with all the love in our heart. No, it is hard and it’s not even possible because you have judged us without putting yourself in our shoes.
The question is that why on earth do these aunties do that? I mean why? There are many assumptions and explanations to there behavior according to me (I know I am not an aunty expert but you all will agree that till our thirties, many of us are one of them or know them too well). My first assumption is that they are so hurt inside and they don’t know how to cope, so when they talk to others, they bleed too. They try to hurt other women as much as they are and they can’t get the idea of happy, appreciated women quite in their heads.
So, they wear the persona of confident. By criticising other women personals like you smell bad, why don’t you take a shower often? Or why don’t you brush your teeth often? You must have some genetic issues because see, mine are perfect even I don’t brush them daily (which is a straight white lie). But, we have to digest because we are not that aunty type. If you ignore their first attack, they will come for you again by asking when you got married and claim that you get married so young or you are a late bloomer, and God forbid, if unmarried cross their path, they enjoy butchering the singles for her happiness become fashion police by asking what are you wearing as in dresses or shoes or jewelry or bags.
And if God forbid, you have a nice taste and you belong to middle class, you will have to lie. I am telling you, you have to lie straight in the eye that you bought that from Imtiaz, Chase or somebody has gifted it to you. Because if you accept it by saying, “yeah I have bought it from Aldo” etc., they might get a seizure over your overspending and all the reason behind your husband’s slow progress on not making a home or they will find out like a fly finds the way out of kachra from a clean room.
Don’t ever tell these aunties your lawn brand or shoes and where you have originally bought them from because they always have the same one with cheaper price and when you ask them to buy you one, they will have all the excuses to avoid buying it for you. Reason for doing that is not jealousy or they don’t have them. Chances are they wearing finer clothes or carrying finer bags and jewelry, but the hatred and pain they feel for themselves and don’t know how to cope or heal.
If you dodge all these questions, they might attack the house maintenance by eyeing each and every corner for un-present jaalas (spider webs), plates or dishes in your kitchen or the way you set your cutlery or the cutlery set. You might have heard them saying that oh my God, Rasheeda has only one dinner set that she puts on show at each and every dinner. Any person with the right mind of set can’t see any issue in eating in the same plates, but to people who want to torture other people mentally and have to talk about this shit behind their backs.
After seeing your errors with the magnifying glass, they will move to your husbands and kids. If your husband is abroad, they might tell you that you have the habit of living without your husband (yeah sure I do… is there any problem?) Or, they might love telling you that you are not raising your kids right because they have raised them perfectly screwed up.
But to my friends and other women like me, let them just express their pain, out loud. Because they are so hurt inside (not physically though I wish they are), they need the help of therapist or education because nobody in their sane mind would judge or criticize other people for things or situations they don’t know about. I wouldn’t say to let them bark because barking dogs /bitches seldom bite, if anyone of us stands up and give these aunties shut up call.
But the issue is that many of them talk behind our backs and many of us do this in front of us. However, they carefully choose social occasions or gatherings that give their prey no time to react. Because obviously, nobody is going to destroy their occasion with by getting into a brawl with a typical aunty because of her taunt.