When we speak of ‘settling down’, in our Pakistani society, women are taught to find a man who is doing well for himself- A good stable job, six-figure salary, a car and a house of his own. Men, on the other hand, do not want to settle unless they are successful and immerse themselves in the long struggle of establishing themselves.
Time has changed and so did, if not most then some of the young people of the country. Challenging the norms? ‘beta stable ho jao phir shaadi kerlena’ to ‘Acha kamaye ga to sakoon sey raho gi’ are just some of the pieces of advice we tend to receive from the elders but what marriage really is about? It’s about coming together and sharing the struggles, the blessings and the hard times as a team. Then why not start early, support one another and grow with each other as individuals and as partners.
This Beautiful Story Is A Proof That You Do Not Need To Be Successful In Order To Marry Someone
Samreen Essa who maintains a personal blog shared her own story of how she and her husband got married when they were no way near settled down and successful as per society’s standards. In fact, were fresh out of the universities when they decided to get hitched.
“I had passed my MA exam and he got back from London with a Masters degree when we decided to get married.”
That’s it, folks! Haha, that’d be cruel. She continues to share her views about what Pakistan’s society expects of young adults, questions the unreasonable standards set by those that came before us and how after much struggle, love, and support they have reached where they are now. Inspiring, I must add. Scroll down and read away!
“I was not settled.
He was not settled.
We were not making enough money but we wanted to start our lives together. We expect our early 20s to be a time for starting our lives as an adult. We are expected to settle down with someone who is well settled.
While growing up, I had watched Star plus serials and settling for mediocre love was not something I was fantasizing about. However, I ended up marrying someone who had just started his career. He wanted to build his life with me. He promised he would conquer everything with me and would stand by my side and love me no matter where this journey takes us.
We saved money and did not spend much on the wedding because we wanted to invest in our future. We started everything from scratch. From looking for a house to buying the basic house electronics.
What does settle mean in our society? You are settled when you have a huge house with a fancy car in your garage? Your bank account loaded with money? Then I think we are still not settled, but if I look back then I realize how far we have come in this journey of building our own empire.
Alhamdulillah, we are settled in our own way. We have a house to live in, we are finally planning to travel outside Pakistan YAS too excited about that, we have the luxury to choose what to eat and what to wear and I don’t feel ashamed in repeating the clothes, good friends to hang out with on weekends, we have Netflix to have a movie night almost every night ?Sometimes we argue too but let’s keep it for some other post. Our days are filled with laughter and jokes and we totally love them!
Time is so important and precious, you should not waste it on ‘settling’ through others eyes. I am so proud of the little achievements we have achieved with hard work and we are working to achieve more in the future ?”
As long as you both love and respect each other, you together with your partner can overcome all obstacles in life. This story has definitely inspired me and I am sure it must have given you lots to think about as well.