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Two years ago, when I got married, I had really no clue about what is coming next in my life. My family, relatives, and friends always admired my married life during this time but only my wife and I knew the hidden secret behind our smiling faces!

On the very first night of our marriage, we talked for about two hours and when I saw her drowsy eyes, I took the pillow and lied down on the sofa so that she could sleep on the bed comfortably. I thought that it is an unsaid rule of the first night to not share the bed as a gentle and friendly gesture. But then it became a ritual. We had to go for family lunches and dinners almost every day but when we came back to our room and I asked her to sit with me, she simply ignored or started rubbing her sleepy eyes.

Living abroad alone has made me humble, I valued the relationships around me when I was too far from them. Being an introvert, I craved for love and care during those years but never asked for it, it was the time when I spent hours isolated in my room after studying. After getting the job, these hours converted into days. Living outside from the native land wasn’t easy for me. And when I said ‘yes’ to the proposal my mother came up with, I had no idea what to do next!

For me, marriage is a lifetime journey of love where you discover your partner with each passing day. All I wished for a companion who can replace my years of loneliness with chirping laughter, my emptiness with immense love but it didn’t happen. My wife never spoke to me frankly, there was a courtesy always which bothers me but I remained silent. I know it was difficult for a girl to adjust in her inlaws especially when she is all alone. My mother was not in a favor to stay with me, according to her, ‘Meri Bahu Ko Time Do, Meri Khair Hai’.

I used to bring my wife to her mother’s place but I can’t do it regularly. We went on long drives, we had dinners at a very peaceful place so that she could start talking to me without being hesitant but whenever I tried to hold her hand, she always considered my gesture as a demand of physical intimacy. I am not like those men for whom making love is the only purpose in a marriage, I believe in love with which you can conquer the soul of your significant other not just with physical contact.

It’s been almost two years, she is loving and caring for my parents and relatives, she is the perfect bahu who knows how to cook delicious food and serve the guests, I appreciate her home decor skills but I didn’t find a way to make her comfortable with me. I love my wife and don’t want to leave her but I don’t know how to react to all of this. I want my life to get sorted. Please help!