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Yesterday, my kids and I tuned into a Pakistani drama serial on a private channel where the mom was constantly favoring her son and all his unlawful acts. The story stated that just because they were poor, they were obliged to go for unlawful means of earnings. The father, on the other hand, was strictly against such prejudice towards the son and favoring illegal income.
Now coming to the point, I spoke in a very solemn manner, “So what if he is earning haraam? His father is on the deathbed. They are so poor. (Even though the female lead character, their daughter is earning peanuts too). Let them have a little bit share of their brother’s income. I mean what’s wrong if they just keep a small amount for the medicine and not the whole of it?”
The next thing that made me grateful to my Rabb was my children’s prompt reply. They both looked at me wide-eyed and exclaimed, “Kya Hogya Hai Mama Apko? Tauba Karen! Thora Ho Ya Zyada, Haram To Hai Na?” (What’s wrong with you mama? Seek forgiveness! Be it less or more, haram is haram anyways!)
I still managed a poker face and argued, “But what if your peers have better things than you or what if we have nothing good to wear to a party or very less to eat? Tab To Banta Hai Na Please?” (Can we please accept it then?) My daughter furiously came up with a NO and my son just stood gazing unbelievably at me. I just couldn’t contain my smile anymore and gave them a big warm hug. Alhamdulillah! Allah has blessed them with guidance and I pray that it shall stay with them forever. Ameen
So, where’s the parenting tip?
I firmly believe that kids learn faster and better when you role playthings for them. You think you need to make them good human beings, instill Allah’s consciousness in them. Let them do whatever they want to but only after you have constantly reminded them of good and bad. And this constant reminder should not be in the form of a sermon.
Whenever you see good people around, good deeds performed, praise them in front of your kids. Let them know how happy Allah must be at that moment with that person. Let them know this, even if it happens in a cartoon or a drama serial or it’s just a random act of helping their cousins doing their homework. Just connect things and events with Allah and his mercy.
And please DO NOT bring negativity by fearing them from Him. Instead, let them love Him. Instill the fact that they are going to be rewarded for their good actions in the best way. Avoid negativity as much as possible.
May Allah make our children the reason for our forgiveness, Aameen