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I am 23 and I fell in love for the first time at the age of 21. A girl from Lahore was one of the first I noticed when I searched a random name on facebook and I was instantly attracted. She said that she was too when she found my message in her inbox. What clinched me was her quote that she had shared on her wall to write and express herself clearly. Silly maybe, but since I’m an engineer; that is important to me. Plus, it gave me a real insight of her character.

Chatting with her was very comfortable from the very first day. We had been talking every night for about three weeks since I gave her my number. I know she was a little scared because of all the stories you hear about stalkers and stuff, but anyway. We continued to talk only on facebook messenger as neither of us was game enough to call one another. She made me feel so special when she sent me a beautiful voice message on my birthday. Although we had a deep emotional connection, we were continually arguing.

We are so open to each other and this often started countless discussions. She knew how I felt about her, even though I was not sure if one could have feelings for someone you had never met. She told me that she felt the same way. Our friends were skeptical about the whole relationship and still are. However, all of a sudden, I don’t know why, but I started realizing that this may result in distress for both of us. Perhaps it was too late though.

Without discussing my concerns with her,  I started ignoring her messages and calls to bring an end to our relationship and let’s get involved any further (this did lead to a very bad conversation). We both knew that nothing could come out of the relationship as she lived about 16 hours away, and being a Pakistani, we had no means of ever meeting. I literally cried that night as we had a serious talk about where our relationship heading towards.

After 2 months of having conversations on and off, I found myself a job where I couldn’t find internet often. I didn’t even let her know that I’m leaving for my job. By the time she came to know, she messaged me with lots of wishes and prayers which were truly heartwarming for me. Moreover, I was ashamed of what I’ve done by ignoring her and hurting her feelings. I still haven’t said sorry to her. I used to keep her updated on how I was doing whenever I used to get access to the internet.

As she is a very bright student, I received a message from her stating that she got a scholarship as it was her dream that she had always aimed for. I don’t know why, but I felt so proud of her that day. After my contract with the company had ended, it was time for me to go back home and we started to talk once again and… we are still together, in an odd sort of way. We both still feel the same and know that if we were closer, we could truly have a go at our relationship. We talk every night and still argue most of the time. With a hope that someday we will actually meet, even if we are not what we are now, I am so glad that I let down my guard with her in order for her to understand and love the real me.

I still don’t know if it is possible to love someone who you have never met, but what I feel for her is definitely more than just a friendship. About a week ago, I asked her to be my girlfriend. Yes, she agreed to be my girl. We are planning our meet up in 2018 as she is in Europe and I’m in the UK; hoping for the best in near future.