I started smoking occasionally when I was about eighteen. I used to smoke in hiding as I was scared of being caught. I was told that ‘good’ girls do not smoke by the same ladies in my family who smoked or used to smoke in the 60’s.
Before marriage, my fiancé asked me if I smoked – after a long pause I replied, “I do, but sometimes”. I expected a rebuttal, scolding, or worse, him walking out on me, but to my surprise, he offered me his cigar. I gained confidence ever since and have never had an issue smoking with him.
However outdoors, I still don’t feel comfortable smoking, because of the stares. Even though I am with my husband, most of the time, I feel insecure; the stares make me feel as if I’ve committed a crime. The stares don’t end on the cigarette rather they travel making me feel as if this gives him a right to stare my body too.
The sad part is, I have always been judged even by ‘the close ones’. Some have said it to my face that they hate smokers, so much for friends, right? I wish they could see that smoking is just a habit, like eating chocolate, drinking water and breathing.
Are men ever looked at, like women are, when they smoke? Has it ever felt awkward? So if a man and women, share a coke its okay, but a smoke it isn’t? From where I see it, it’s almost the same.
The last I checked the Constitution of Pakistan didn’t say that women in Pakistan are not allowed to smoke. So what exactly is the issue if Pakistani women want to smoke? Which makes me think further, how does smoking make one characterless? Why is the ‘Log Kia kaheinge’ argument always used against women?
The interesting thing is, women in rural areas still puff on ‘hukah’ and smoke cigarettes, yet the progressive in cities women are ridiculed for their choice of lifestyle. I remember when I was in Sialkot, two young boys in their early teens riding a bike nearly lost control when they saw me smoking in the car. That was enough to distract them, imagine, the power of a cigarette.
If only we gave so much importance to the ‘real’ issues of the society. Women started smoking in Europe and US in the early 1900’s however, acceptance of ‘such’ women in the society was still an issue.
In the 60’s advertisements of Tudor Cigarette Company appeared in Pakistani newspapers in which three women are seen sitting, smoking and drinking tea; interestingly the ladies are wearing different dresses one in a sari, two in a sleeveless shirt. This is a Pakistani newspaper and apparently Pakistani women.
Smoking was an issue back then too, but only when parents were around and that too out of mere respect for elders; otherwise men and ladies not only smoked together but also were open to parties in clubs with drink and dance. My mother once told me that she along with her siblings and friends were smoking when my grandfather passed by the room; they tried to hide the cigarettes but he just smiled and walked away.
Which brings me to the point, why is Mahira Khan’s smoking, her backless dress, and personal life a ‘scandal’ more important than the serious issues we have in this country? Pakistani Punjabi movie poster and theater programs are never called upon as such.
Ever heard anyone protesting against those? Why aren’t we insulted when women of the country are openly slapped, harassed, raped and assaulted? Why doesn’t the so-called ‘Gairat’ raise up when women and children are attacked with acid?
Education, employment, and reasonable living standards are the right of every human being in this country but we can live without that, right? But god forbid you to spot a woman who smokes.
If women are not safe outside their homes then it is not because they are women but because men are not taught right. Women have a right to live their own life, make decisions, because, reality check! We have an organ called brain too.
Pakistani’s should stop poking their noses into every women’s life, let them be, be it in New York or Islamabad. Women are not animals to be herded as per your unwritten rules.
