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I read somewhere about how South Asian parents raise their sons. It’s like they don’t train them to even take care of them. It sounds weird to whom who never knew any South Asian family. For us or anyone from the South Asian region, it’s a common thing that a son is parents’ beloved precious boy toy (yeah the twinkle twinkle not little star).

It’s a norm here in Pakistan too, that you don’t teach your precious boy even to boil an egg or wash a plate for themselves. It’s usually a proud moment for a mother when she tells her bahu-to-be that my son never made tea for himself (come on don’t tell me you have spoiled him to hell that he can’t survive a day without mommy dear or dear sissoo).

Oh, and nobody has to justify this to me because I have witnessed mothers dying of back pain and pressing clothes for their dear sons who don’t give a damn about however ‘much’ is he earning. Shouldn’t he give some rest to his mother and send his clothes to get pressed from a local istri wala? I have a question for all the mothers out there that why do they torture their sons like this? I mean, why on earth, were you training your daughters how to press, wash clothes and dishes as if that’s what they have to do all their lifetime. And, at least you should ask them to learn how to make tea, I have seen twelve-year-old girls making tea. Is your KAMAOO POOT not able to function as a twelve-year-old baby girl?

Problem is that it doesn’t end here. You or should I say we women, raise a certain level of that disabled person who thinks that doing his own chores is an insult to his manliness. However, it is indeed troublesome for a girl who comes in his life. Because it appears that in our culture, bahus are for everything except for raising kids because she doesn’t have any time left for herself or future kids. And, this happens after she is physically drained because her dear husband can’t even find his own socks, shoe handkerchief, tie, his purse laptop etc.

And oh GOD, if somebody (SAAS) finds out her precious (please try to read this in the voice of ‘Gollum’ from Lord of the Ring), is pressing his own clothes, I am telling you, your married life is doomed forever. Because the news will spread like a wildfire. Even if your husband is a typical boy toy (but your brainwashing has made him change his mind after few years of marriage and some kids) he might go back into his hermit after the propaganda he heard from his grieving mother and sisters.

To all mothers (South Asian mothers), I have a question: Is it love when you make your future head of the family totally dependent on women (lesser level of the creature in your point of view) who are not even allowed to make decisions for themselves, would be making decisions for your son on a daily basis? And literally, a man becomes a slave to the woman’s choices. What’s so manly about that?

In our society, men are supposed to be independent in every way. Because if the loud voice and making babies is the only reason to be a man, then a dog is more than we are. But, what are we mothers trying to do by feeding and making plates for a teenager? Pressing their clothes and asking until the end if they have eaten or not? What are we creating? Irresponsible brats who don’t want to take responsibilities for their own actions.

If we, for once, realized what love really means, we will be making them independent, decisive and mature. Because responsible people know what they do and why they are doing it. It has far-reaching results in anybody’s life. You might think that I am exaggerating the non-doing chores men’s issue, but it’s a reality and a fact.

For the current generation’s mothers, we should make our sons (because daughters have already been trained) independent and helpful; not a burden. We should not keep the difference in their ‘tarbiat’, because life is all about karma. What we sow, we reap it later. We shouldn’t be a part of this vicious cycle where men are unable to even save their dear life.