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“Where are the shoes?” My mother yelled for the umpteenth time. “They will be here any minute.” She has been like this for a week now. Preparing for my wedding, getting things done. By they, she meant the servants of my in-laws, who were coming to drop the wedding gifts. I was fifth in the line of my four brothers, I have never been my parents’ favorite. On the contrary, I was as welcomed as a dog rolled in slime. But ever since this wedding thing came along I was the star of the family.

For the first time in my life, I was getting along in the attention in the world. I was given good food, a soft bed, and massages that were reserved for my brothers only. All this attention was brilliant but it won’t stay long I knew that. So I was prepared for what’s coming ahead. I wasn’t scared. I was just excited to see their faces. They all thought they were very smart but I was the smartest. I smiled again thinking about my part in all this.

My dress was beautiful but it looked like a burial dress for me. It had all the colors in the world, the jewelry that came from my in-laws looked heavenly. My mother was beside herself seeing all the things they have sent, but I couldn’t care less. They called the local girl to apply henna to my hands, it looked pretty.

The night came and everyone slept. I crept to the bathroom, turned on the faucet as low as I could. I didn’t want anyone to wake from the sound of water. Slowly very slowly I put my hand under the cold water, let the henna wash off, the dye in the henna gave off the red color. It seemed as if my hands were bleeding, it reminded me of the blood that day, but I must not think about it now. I smiled again. Happy at my revenge.

Taking a deep sigh, I turned the faucet off and went to sleep. This would be my last, in a soft bed, I was sure of it. I slept like a baby, dreamt of heaven and all the beautiful flowers it will have. I woke up to my mother’s soft cooing, I wanted to laugh at her face, normally she’d slap me awake so this cooing seemed comical. I got up, didn’t bother to make my bed. I took a shower and got dressed. Today was my wedding day. The village girls would come and help me get ready, they will also teach me what and what not to do on my wedding night and after.

I went through all this in a haze. Not really caring about the dress or the makeup or what everyone was saying. “Baarat” ( groom and family) came with all their respective festivals. There was music and dance and happiness all around. I was taken to my throne where my groom was waiting for me. I was giddy with excitement, not because I was getting married but because my revenge was so close I could taste the sweetness of it.

We sat there for an hour, a minute or maybe a day, time was confusing me. The smell of food wafted towards me and made my stomach churn. At last, the time came. Everyone cried I laughed inside. My mother hugged me tightly and said something in my ear but it was too far away to understand her words. My father patted me on my head, I wanted to jerk his hand away but no, not yet.

I sat in the car and left for my new house, for it was a house and not home. It can never be my home. I had no home. But soon I will have my heaven. Oh, how I longed for that. My groom sat beside me, he didn’t say a word, or held my hand or even looked at me, but why would he. We arrived at his manor. I got out of the car and looked up. It was huge, his manor or as we called it, “haweli”. What happened next was a blur, when everything cleared I found myself in a huge room, decorated with roses. The sweet smell of them was making me nauseous.

There was a knock at the door. It crept open and my groom entered. I wish I could say my handsome groom but that word is lying through the teeth. He was almost 60, with shriveled skin and bad teeth. I was 14, tall, fair the perfect youth but regardless of my looks, I was one more thing they required. A virgin. All this was just to have a virgin to deflower. All this wedding drama was staged just so that this rich old man (my beloved groom) could have one night of pleasure.

He was drunk and I knew it but I didn’t care really. He sat close to me. “Your mother was right you are beautiful”, he slurred. And then he laughed. When the laughter subsided he said, “it was the best bargain ever,  your mother could have asked for more, I got you cheap.”

This didn’t come as a shock to me, I knew I was sold. This was the reason for all that pampering, love and care. Because my mother never wanted me. To have a girl was the worst thing she could get. She hated me since the day I was born. I was like the furniture that never fitted in the house but couldn’t be thrown out either. I was beaten, starved and bullied all my life. I was like the piñata that never burst no matter how many times it was struck.

My groom came closer, I didn’t recoil. I sat there, smiling with joy, for my revenge was close. His hands touched my face, took my headscarf off, then came off my jewelry. Then not so slow came off my dress. I was asked to stand up, my so-called groom watched my every with leering eyes. He wanted to see what his investment looked like naked. His eyes glittered with greed at the prize in front of him. He took hold of my shoulders and shoved me hard on the bed.

Got on top of me and showed me what a man he was. But he was in for a surprise. His first thrust showed him that I wasn’t what he wanted, I wasn’t the unwrapped, virgin present he needed. His angry roar made me laugh. I couldn’t stop. The blood he was expecting didn’t show. How could it when I took care of that month ago. They all thought they were doing a profitable deal. Oh, how I was loving my revenge. He didn’t get the virgin, my mother won’t get the payment but she will get the beating for she betrayed the owner of the village, giving him the second-hand piece. She will be kicked out of the village with her family with no money, and I!, I will get my heaven finally.

He slapped and punched me here and there. I didn’t care. I was beaten to a pulp on my wedding night but the smile never left my face. No one got anything out of this deal. Only I did. I am sure my last breath won’t matter to them. I am sure my body will be thrown in the gutter to be devoured by dogs. I knew I won’t even get a burial. But the whole village will know what the child bride did. I made sure of that. The whole village will laugh for centuries to come, at the slap these people got.

I close my eyes and let the blows continue, smiling soaked in the sweet pleasure of my revenge.