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Another taboo but important subject which needs to be discussed. Let’s talk about the causes of abuse. Sexual abuse!
A rapist isn’t just a mentally twisted individual born to commit atrocities, but rather, it is a wide-spread disease with its roots holding onto the uncontrolled expression of sexual desire and overwhelming lust. A rapist is never born but rather created and moulded at the hands of this ever so defiling battleground that we call the ‘world’.
You may be wondering, if this is the case then how so? How does a person debase themselves to such beastliness? How is that one of the innocent children you see today may grow up to become a sexual abuser within the same society that condemns the crime itself? Well, to be honest, this society doesn’t. The Pakistani society doesn’t fully condemn sexual abuse. It is rather half-hearted and negligent in doing so.
The patriarchal landscape does not allow opportunities for women to express themselves in terms of having freedom in many essential aspects such as getting a job, marrying someone, choosing what to wear, and much more. What is more that men aren’t taught to respect women either and it is for the very same reason that women can’t repair their position in society? So where does the actual inequality start? Well, there’s one obvious and vivid answer to the question: your home.
Yes! That’s right, it all starts from your home. Where you’ll get to see the mother showing proportionately more affection to her son as compared to her daughter, where the son is reluctant to do the household chores and the daughter has to take on the burden, where the son has the authority to order the daughter to fulfil his every command, and that one slight mistake with regard to the family respect (izzat) from her side, might result in her becoming a victim of honour killings, depending on how conservative the region, and which class does she originate from.
Likewise, every woman is more or less oppressed whether she’s aware of it or not, in every walk of life and likewise, with such an intimidatingly oppressive and perverted atmosphere, men find it much easier to exercise their authority and follow their desires as they please.
It isn’t unprecedented to find a group of male teenagers and adults staring at a lady when she walks outside regardless of whether she’s wearing a loose body-veil (burka) or revealingly-tight jeans. Some try to take pictures with their phones as discreetly as possible and some are daring enough to heedlessly dismiss such precautionary measures as well. Others are perverted enough to becoming peeping toms and body-pinchers in order to gain whatever gratification they can from their desperate attempts.
In the last few years, pornography has become of incessant assistance to the rise of such perverted mindsets, though not necessarily for all. Some might take a detour after getting fed up with it, while some might just speed ahead towards their own destruction while violating the rights of other people…in the worst way possible.
Sexual abuse in one’s early years might also amount to the same result, but that too depends on the given circumstances. It is probably one of the worst ways to oppress a human being, having your body used against you…but we’ll leave the accounts for those who’ve actually survived to live the experience and are bold enough to tell their tale. So at most what can we do to avoid nurturing individuals with such a perverted mindset? The following are a few factors which can be implemented in everyday life to reduce the risk of such incidents.
1) Teach Your Children About Huquq-ul-Ibad
Parents should impart religious values regarding Huquq-ul-Ibad (rights of other people) and how dreadful of a consequence there is for those who violate such commandments. For example, in Islam, it is said that you cannot be forgiven by God for infringing the rights of others unless you are forgiven by the victim, atone for the sin and compensate them until they are satisfied. This is necessary for ALL sins committed against any individual, whoever they may be.
2) Keep An Eye On Their Online Activities
Parents should monitor the exposure of their child to online content. It is necessary for parents to be computer-literate, try to limit a child’s computer-time and try to avoid their children from getting into contact with explicit content.
3) Don’t Allow Them From Mingling With Opposite Gender
Parents should try to separate pubescent teens from mingling too much with the opposite gender.
4) Beware Of Your Relatives
In most child abuse cases, the oppressor is a close relative. Beware! Notice signs of unease and anxiety: if your children feel uncomfortable in the presence of a relative, try to refrain them from interacting too much and ask them in private about how they feel about the said individual, and what does the proposed ‘suspect’ do within the child’s presence.
5) Develop A Sense Of Self-Protection
Teach young children about staying away from strangers, and how no one else should be allowed to touch them on parts which are considered to violate one’s body. This is essential to help the child to develop a sense of self-protection.
6) Think Twice Before Teasing Someone Else’s Mother, Sister or Daughter; It Might Be Yours Some Day
Mature men should realize the importance of staying away from women at all costs. They should constantly remind themselves of the fact that the woman that they are so infatuated with ogling at is also a sister, a mother or a daughter for someone else. Refrain from doing any activity which might harm your female relatives if it were to happen to them.
7) Avoid Narrow Streets
Women should avoid isolated alleyways.
8) Never Go Out Without Your Guardian
Women should try to go out within the presence of a male guardian as much as possible in order to prevent any inconvenient encounters.
9) DHA Is Not A Safe Area!
Most of the educated elite live in housing societies such as, take for example Defence Housing Authority, where the chances of getting assaulted are rather less due to a relatively more disciplined mindset. Women should know that places which are less frequently visited by the upper-middle classes have higher chances of an assault taking place over there.
10) Your Dress Code Should Be Socially Acceptable:
Thus, when it comes to the matter of clothing, you may dress however you like with the chance of being respected and accepted in places where women ARE allowed to dress freely, such as cafes, malls etc. However, the same cannot be said for most of the areas, especially in a society such as that of Pakistan’s.
Lastly, what I have to say is, Please show this article to your parents, relatives, friends and family members; take out some time to discuss matters like these and try to make productive decisions based off of the important points stated above, regardless of how to taboo the topic. Hopefully, by doing so you may be able to save the life of someone’s sister, mother, or daughter.