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Dear Aunty,

Yes, you, aunty in my neighborhood, aunty whom I meet only on weekends or special occasions, aunty who I only meet only on weddings and the aunty who stalks me on social media. How are you? I trust you are well. I hope I look fine today. Don’t I aunty? I am sure you have a thousand opinions about me.

I am sorry that I am either, too tall or too short, too dark or too fair, my hair is dry and brittle or too long to handle. My longs nails are against religion and my short nails mean that I have an eating disorder. My smiling too much means I am asking for attention, my keeping quiet means I have confidence issues. Me being sweet to people around me means I have a hidden agenda, while me maintaining my distance means I have a superiority complex. When I am loud or have an opinion; my mom didn’t teach me well.

My family’s background defines who I am, or who I could be. My family’s financial status defines how you will behave with me. My age is always questioned, because whatever I say you always know my ‘real’ age. My education is always a matter of interest. If I am too studios, I wouldn’t know how to run a household; if I am not, I am wasting my parents’ income.

I am sorry for not being the person you assumed me to be. I am sorry for letting you down. I am just not right. Right!? Reality check, Aunty! I don’t care. Something you should try doing, too. I am sorry for scaring you. I am sorry that you never felt good in your own skin as I do. I am sorry that my ambition scares you, I am sorry that my lifestyle, my mindset, my motivation scares you.

But I am NOT sorry for being an individual, for being who I am. No one should be. Not me, not you and not all the girls out there you think you have a right to pass comments on. The thing is dear Aunty,  love constructive criticism but I can’t bear derogatory comments. Like:

“Aray, tum itni dubli hogai ho, bachae kaise paida kero ge,” (OMG! You have lost so much weight, how will you have kids?)

“Aray, you have gained so much weight. Who will marry you? ”

“Oh, you have tanned so much this summer. Try Faiza beauty cream”

“How were your grades this term? Oh, you won’t be able to become a doctor or an engineer like so and so, with those marks. You should get married,”

“When will you marry? Stop studying”

“When will you have kids? Will you shift out etc and blah blah blah”

You get the point; you know what we are talking about here? You have hurt my feelings so many times that I have transformed into a wall of bricks. Thank you for that. Thank you for making me realize that whatever I do will never make the world happy and hence, I should be ONLY pleasing myself. Thank you for enlightening me in such a way.

Dear Aunty, you are a blessing in disguise.

You taught me that I need not boast about my life to you or anyone. My achievements and failures are only a point of discussion for you during parties. Anything you say would never be constructive. So, I have stopped trying to please others and only strive for myself now.

Yours,

Desi Girl