Being vocal about your past experiences on social media in Pakistan, when you are a woman, is nothing less than putting yourself out in danger. Even many female Pakistani celebrities including, Muniba Mazari, Nadia Jamil, and Farieha Altaf shared publicly how they were put in the dungeon of their dark past and how they managed to rose from ashes. People from all around the world praised them for their bravery.

Another girl named Sahar Javed from Lahore shared her story from the very start on how she was sexually abused in her childhood and later when she got married to a man who left her bruised and broken. After all this, she claims herself to be the Phoenix who won life.

“My name is Dr. Sahar Javed Chawla, Assistant Professor Biochemistry at CMH Lahore Medical and Dental College. Many of you recognize me by the power of my walk and the strength in my voice. I am the star of my personal show that many call life. On 19th June 2012 I decided that people will not tell me who I am, I would tell people who I was. My story may invoke pity but to all of you reading I wish to give you hope along with a healthy dose of caution.

I was seven. I was sexually abused by my Qaari Sahab. My parents silenced me. The abuse did not end here. After being rid of my Qaari Sahab, there began a series of seven years of abuse by a close relative. These seven years were accompanied by twelve years of harrowing nightmares, I am sure you don’t need me to elaborate. My parents being the Pakistani family they were, chose to let it go. I don’t blame them anymore, I blame our society.

My experiences made me focused. I took admission in BDS in the esteemed Army Medical College. What followed were the good days. I made friends and formed bonds that lasted me a lifetime. They were darkened by the findings of my parent’s separation. I fell in love during my college days as many of us do. I was fed promised of marriage and a happily ever after. I decided to court marry and the day of the court marriage, he vanished. I was heartbroken.

In my despondency I agreed to the marry the man my mother selected for me. Taking no initiative to get to know the man I was going to get married. The man did not want me, he once loved a girl named Sahar and I was not her. He gave me the option to leave, I decided to take the challenge and did all I could to make him love me. He beat me. Hid away my phone. This went on for seven months. Sneaking my phone, I called my parents who thankfully came and took me away. I was bruised and scars but since then those have faded. I had a nervous breakdown.

I lost my job. Woke up. Fell back into the arms of my college beau. He promised to marry me just needed some financial assistance. This part will sound like a cliché, he asked for my jewelry, I gave it. He vanished again on the date we set to marry. I then attempted suicide and ended up in the ICU of CMH Lahore Hospital.

On June 19th, 2012 I woke up one day and took control of my life. I decided that the world would be my runway and I would be the show stopper. I did my M Phil in Biochemistry and started teaching and now I am currently enrolled in PHD doing my final research.

From deathbed to designation it’s been a tough journey. I am thankful to my parents, friends who stood by me. And my students for giving me hope. Yes, I did give up at one point, yes, I became bitter, yes, I stopped believing in true feeling. But there are wonderful people in this world who taught me to believe in love and friendship again. Everyone has been blessed by a wonderful life by Allah, it’s just up to us to find the happiness in it.
Remember the show must go on.”

"My name is Dr. Sahar Javed Chawla, Assistant Professor Biochemistry at CMH Lahore Medical and Dental College. Many of…

Posted by The Untold Stories of Pakistan on Monday, 29 January 2018

Despite all that Sahar has faced in her life, she also had a few pieces of advice for all the women out there to conclude her story. Here’s what she had to say:

1. Every girl who loved someone with all her heart and soul do not apologize for having too much soul or for having too much love to offer. The other person was not capable of handling it and it’s not your fault. Be aware of who you let into your life. Some people just exist as examples of what to avoid and please for god’s sake if it’s draining you, it’s not love. Get over it and move on.

2. Every girl who has been sexually abused please do not deconstruct from inside out. Do not let people turn you into a regret. Remember Allah uses broken things beautifully. Broken clouds pour rain. Broken soil sets fields. Broken crops yield seeds. Don’t carry these mountains. Climb them.

3. For every woman who has been divorced, being alone may scare you but being in a bad relationship will destroy you. Change is painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck in a toxic relationship.

4. For every girl or child who has seen an abusive relationship amongst their parents I know your parents have messed you up mentally but please be the bigger person and forgive them.

Power of positivity with the right mental attitude you can conquer anything and everything.
Remember if you stay positive in a negative situation you win. In the end it’s your decision to either focus on what’s tearing you apart or keeping you together. Go in pursue of what sets your soul on fire. Since you will give life to what you will give energy to.

And yes, I don’t regret any bit of my being since all these experiences made me who I am today and I am absolutely proud of that. I am extremely thankful to all these gentlemen in my life for teaching me all these valuable lessons and helping me write my success story. Yes it will be a success story one day In Sha Allah.”- Dr. Sahar

Wow, Sahar! You’re one strong woman!

People like her are actually the unsung heroes of our society. She belongs to a breed that can’t be silenced by any evil. There are many women like Sahar who have faced traumatic situations and conquered every single time. It’s high time women should be educated and empowered enough to know their rights. Encourage them to be vocal about their experiences. Only then will be able to eradicate the wrong in society.