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We all have different standards for men and women, especially when it comes to evaluating their character. We usually fancy a flirt male rather than flirt women. Thinking about this, apart from our religious boundaries and in the so-called liberal world, I try to google or search the words in many languages for flirt men. And as I had expected, I found many synonyms and many words for flirts in other languages too.
I searched for languages because language is a base and true representative of any culture or say nation. Also, many words we can’t find in any language might be not even present in this nation for example when I was young Moin Akhter used to tell a joke on television that what is the English for GHAIRAT and then he used to laugh that it’s the characteristic not present in British people so they don’t have a word for it. So when I decided to write about society’s different take on women and men character I tried it and found astonishing results.
For men, if they are flirts we find a word “Casanova” on top and obviously, its content is related to praise the one who has been named or called Casanova. But the synonyms amazed me, words like tom jones, don Juan, lady killer, lothario, Gallant, lady’s man, Romeo, philanderer, wolf are there to praise men. On the other hand, when I look for the Casanova women, they have no word equal to that for women and if I look out for flirt women, these words showed on screen: Enticing women, temptress, vamp, enchantress, deadly women etc. like if a woman has multiple interests in men, she has no good reference in any languages.
And our very own URDU language calls men who have multiple flings or admire and enjoy multiple women company: “RAJA INDAR” (like WTF? Why RAJA? People should know that RAJA Ranjeet Singh was one-eyed), and for women like these, we have many words like HARAFFA (it’s ok if men are HARAFFA we will call them RAJA but if women has the same interests, she is doomed for life. Why can’t we call her RANI INDER?).
There should be equality. I know many of you will give me a lecture on religion and reproduction system after reading these lines, but I am heading to a more serious issue and I am not dumb enough not knowing what harm it could be to women but why it doesn’t harm men? Religion equally applies to men too. They have the permission to keep four wives and not for forty women who they choose to flirt with.
But even then, we allow our men (I mean sons and brothers) to hang out with girls obviously for professional reasons. They can hang out with women bosses, doctors and other professionals from many fields. Even men can cure their prostate of a female doctor, get a massage from female masseuse and chiropractors. They can invite their girlfriends to occasions or to their sister’s wedding and nobody will question them. Obviously, their world their rules. But we women do to not support them in their antics, or not making them self-obsessed more than they already are.
On the other hand, if girls have friends and many of them, are boys we will start judging her. “OH, SHE KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE BOYS”. She won’t be allowed to study in co-education system, neither in schools, college and in university. If she is in co-education educational institute, she wouldn’t be allowed to invite her friends at home. Some are pushed to limits that in some families, women have to hide their friendship with men. Because their character would be questioned. They are not allowed to have late office dinners with male colleagues, they are not even allowed to invite their male friends on their own weddings because people will talk or new groom will not think that she is fit for marriage.
She has to smilingly welcome her husband’s female friends or ex-girlfriends, whom he presents proudly even sometimes on their VALIMA. She can’t frequently hang out with old school friends, but their husbands can. I know many of us don’t have to face this but many do and even when we don’t have to face this we have continuously been reminded by society Kis Qisam Ki Larki Hai? Itna Late time Bhi Bahir Hai? Kaisi Larkiyan Itni Dair Bahir Reh Leten Hain?
Nobody ever mentions that boys are out late at night. Is it ok for boys to hang out late and it is not dangerous for them? Does religion have no boundaries for men? Yes, it does have and they are equally punishable as girls are for staying out late. Women are not HOORS from heaven given us to raise that nobody has seen or touch them till they have been gifted to momineen. If yes, then men should be raised as GHULMANS given to women in JANNAH.
Even men who hang out with divas wearing sleeveless, deep neck, capris all day long or call them their best colleague, becomes religious and righteous as soon as their wives turn in to the same diva. NO, DON’T DO THIS, LOG USKO SAHI NAZAR SE NAI DAIKHTEY. My dear men, you are the one working with her all day, what will other people think of her; doesn’t matter. Do you think of her as a human being and colleague rather than thinking that she dresses up to please you?
We should raise boys who take responsibility for their actions and their surroundings, who shouldn’t have double standards, who can see women with the same point of view rather than differentiating heir HALAAL WIVES and HARAM COLLEAGUES. What could have been done to a society where professors claim that women who wear pants deliver transgender babies. I wonder what have had happened to eunuchs before the invention of genes? It shows that society has to blame women. Nobody cares that the blame can be scientifically, religiously or socially proven or not.
Education doesn’t teach them how to treat women; we, women, should ourselves, teach our next generation how to treat us, or how to demand respect or how to walk out when it is not given. We have to equally raise sensible beings for the future where they cannot judge people as a piece of meat, but where a woman with expression can be respected. Women cannot be a taboo where IZZAT doesn’t mean raping or disgracing women and where women cannot be treated as the thing to be used in the BARTER SYSTEM.
