In our patriarchal society, it’s a taboo to marry an older woman. The caste, financial status, sect, customs and traditions of a marriage matters more than the compatibility between the couple. And one of the biggest well-established standard of marriage in Pakistan is that a girl should be atleast 4 to 5 years younger than the boy because in this way a guy can mold and reshape her mentality according to his standards.

If someone marries an older woman in Pakistan, the couple is looked down upon as they have committed a crime. But in a recent study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, relationships in which the woman is at least 10 years older than the man found positive attitudes among the couple themselves, but their union is also informed by a fear of stigma from outsiders.

The relationship therapists believe that in such marriages, older women like the vitality the younger man brought into their lives, and younger men like the maturity and confidence in the women, although generational differences sometimes made both partners uncomfortable. The love gurus also warned the couples about the possibility of disloyalty in such relationship.

According to a list of studies, the other benefits of marrying an older woman are:

1. Maturity In The Relationship: Maturity comes with age and if a woman is mature enough, she knows how to deal with the issues on the basis of her life experience.

2. Maturity In Parenting: Parenting is not an easy job, it requires a balance between giving a child independence and restricting them at the same time, without a calm and mature mind it can’t be possible!

3. Career Analyst: An older woman who has spent her time on the work-field knows about the market and stuff, she can guide you better than your peers being your life partner!

Important Note!

With this taboo, we should also talk about the male dominance in such relationships. It has been seen that if a man marries an older woman, the society gives him the title of ‘Azeem Larka’ who married to a ‘Bari Umar Ki Aurat’, why does a woman feel guilty of the age difference? If the man is better or equal to her anyway, why does a man then called the sacrificing one? If marriage is the mutual decision of both, they should take stand for each other too!

We Pakistanis love to play the religious card wherever we want, what about the example our Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) set after marrying Bibi Khadija, an older woman! It is high time to talk about these taboos, we should accept that our religion never denounced marrying an older woman ever!