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This Pakistani Guy Shares Details Of Him Being Adopted And It Is Absolutely Heartbreaking!

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“He is not our blood, our family” I grew up listening to this statement almost every third day of my life. It had somehow become an everyday identification tag that it no longer made a difference. Sometimes at social gatherings, and at many times on family events that is how I would be referred to. Sometimes I would stare at my mother’s frowned face and sometimes I would check my dad’s weary smile. As if I was the bad omen in the entire family.

When I first heard this statement, it left me confused. I was never sure of what it really meant until at the age of 9 when a class fellow made it obvious in public. He said I had been collected from a basket near the river as I had been abandoned by my parents. This left me angry. The confusion was now taking a toll to anger in me. I confronted the best person I could at that given point of time. My mother, who quickly brushed me off by turning my attention elsewhere. That was never satisfactory, however!

A year later, a close relative approached me. I must say someone I was really afraid of at the initial stages of my childhood. I believe children, whether adopted or biological, have a sharp sense of belonging in them. They can actually tell who genuinely likes them and who does not, out of innocence. It is something God-given.

Source: NewsOne

I could sense something was not wrong when he offered to take me out and my heart was in my mouth. “You do not belong to us, and you are not our family. You dirty blood, look at your self! You are nothing but a mentally disabled brat”. I was not sure of what he exactly meant but however, this brought many emotions and questions in my mind. I wanted to laugh, but I was scared of my laughter. I wanted to cry, but I was afraid of my tears.

The confidence that I had in me started to vanish away. What was even worse was that I had no one to open up to in the name of being returned to where I was picked from. I felt horrible. I decided to bottle it up in me, with very many “what if’s” in me. What if it was true? What if I was returned to my “original parents” What was I, and who was I? What was my identity? Why was I being referred to as adopted? Who should I turn to? Who should I confess to and that’s how my journey of writing began.

However, back to the questions, these are but a few questions MOST adopted children go through when they come face to face with the reality. Fortunately or unfortunately, it is the sad part of this side of the adoption process. Answers to this few questions either build your self-esteem or destroy it. It either helps you recognize your strengths or vice versa cling to your weaknesses. We all go through circumstances, either good or bad, but how we choose to react to them or rather deal with them solely depends on us.

Source: Parents Magazine

One common issue that many adoptees face is “acceptance”. However, we need to understand one fact of life which is not everyone will accept you. Stop fitting in. Don’t lose your self in the process of making others happy so as to be accepted. Be the best version of your self. Once you start doing pleasing others in the name of acceptance, you start becoming an owner of very many personalities meaning that you become a victim of multi-personalities.

I still recall the long chilly nights when I would wait for everyone to fall asleep and I would start penning my feelings on paper since I never had friends. I was not allowed to have many friends because of insecurity from my adopted parents. They always felt that what if he comes to know. The suffering happened because of lack of awareness and knowledge. The subject adoption has never been given much light yet it exists in every third family. Adoptees are requested to take this positively. You don’t need to throw tantrums, break glasses, blame your self or any of the parties.

All you seek to need are answers to a few questions. Ask for help where need be. Do not blame anyone without knowing the kind of circumstance in which this might have happened. Ask for counseling where need be. This definitely does not identify you as in-deficient or mentally incapable. It only broadens your perspective and approach of handling situations and accepting facts.

To all the couples who adopt, please identify the right time to inform the child about it. If you don’t someone else will, and how the other person will, is not determined until found out.

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