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I am talking about ‘Dobby’ from the Harry Potter series (which many of us read or have watched in our childhood). No, I am not promoting the movie or anything. It’s just the idea that dobby’s character is an inspiration of what our daily life bahus are. Yes, you heard it right, a Pakistani bahu is Eastern or say, the South-Asian version of Dobby the House-Elf.

Let me introduce who Dobby was and what his limitations of life are and then for sure, you will agree with me. We met Dobby in the second part of the series, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. He was an elf who served the Malfoy family. And in the wizarding world, elves are slaves who cannot even choose for themselves. They have to be loyal to their masters no matter what because they have no turning back. They can’t be free, and if they do, they will be condemned by their own race and something that is very important is that they are not paid for their whole life and neither respected.

Now, you have started getting the idea how Dobby the house elf resembles our ladies called or known as Bahu Ranis. Many bahus never get adapted to the new household even though they are the one running the place. However, they are never appreciated or given the respect they deserve. They work as the elves in Hogwart’s kitchens, moving and doing chores where nobody ever feels their presence. It might be similar to the way females are raised in our society for the service of their in-laws. Moreover, nobody works on their personality or careers they want to be in.

I know it’s not the scenario of every household, but nearly more than half the women in our society suffer from being an elf of Harry Potter. When he first appeared in the novel, Dobby told Harry that threats won’t affect him as he receives many on a daily basis at home where he works. Sounds familiar? Our bahus receive the same threats ranging from “tumharey shohar ko bataenge” to “ghar se nikal denge, azaad kerdenge” (meaning divorce).

It is so easy to cut the rope loose and like any other elf, our bahus will wail and cry with the thought of being free from her dark lord family. Because like Dobby, he wasn’t accepted after being freed from his fellows. We, women, have the same fear of being rejected by our society. And if any bahu asks for her rights to be treated as human as much as she was given before her marriage, she is backlashed for not being the right material for marriage. But as Dobby found his solace by getting paid with a vacation for a month, I think bahus will too; who will help them. Though, I truly believe in the saying that, “she wanted a hero so she became one”.

My point for writing this is not to degrade the bahus, but to make our society aware of the fact that the girl who came into your family, is the biggest decision of one’s life; should be treated as a human. Welcome her, give her 4-5 years to adapt. You have given your son willingly to her because after a certain time period, you being Dobby doesn’t work. So, the tradition of hiring a new Dobby the house-elf, just because the old one couldn’t do anymore, should come to an end. There are maids and house help for work. She is here to raise your next generation.

She is not a house-elf as depicted in the Harry Potter series who might die overworking even when she needed rest. It’s not fair loading her with chores and applauding her in society for being what? A maid? a cook? A dishwasher? Yes, everything but for what she really is – A wife. A loving, caring wife and responsible mother of her kids when they needed her. We should try our best to confront people around us who treat DOBBY as they should not be.