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“I don’t really enjoy cooking”

The moment this comes out of my mouth, everyone’s world other than mine turns upside down. As if there are going to die an empty stomach just because I don’t entertain the idea of cooking. Hello? It is going to be me, God forbid, who would die. I don’t like cooking. I did not ask you to dislike it.

And then, every possible certified judgment police comes and starts the label game. Some of them, I am literally dying to share; out of sheer rage: “Larka kaisay milayga?” – How would you find a guy? “Tou, shaadi ke badh kia karogi?” – What will you do after marriage? “Larki ho ke nahi” – Are you even a girl? And the one which infuriates me to the core, “Feminist” Let’s do this! *Phew*

First of all, I don’t live my life to impress a man. Even if I would want to cook, I would like to do it solely for myself and for my own damn survival. If cooking is how one would consider my suitability of being with a guy, I beg to differ! It is my prerogative to have my own likes and dislikes and I alone would decide what I want to do and what not. How does not liking cooking make me any less of a girl?

Secondly, how I will take and maintain my marriage is also very much “my” headache. Learning or enjoying cooking doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. I perfectly understand the importance and the responsibilities which come alongside marriage. I believe it is trust and understanding which makes a marriage a happy one and not COOKING. Please stop associating cooking with marriage. Marriage is more than a girl’s ability to cook.

Thirdly, I assure you all I am a “larki”. I have never come across any theories, researches, or dictionary which defines a girl by how much she knows cooking. You have a doubt? Google is your best friend. Please don’t generalize or equate my gender with the task of cooking. Gender, male or female, need food to survive and I guess both should know, if not the best cooking, but the basic one. At least.

Fourthly, if voicing out my likes and dislikes make me a feminist. Thank you, I am proud of it! But just for the record, I am someone who does not advocate feminism, especially not the kind I see these days, where feminism is reduced to the idea of “I will dress as I want or if men can smoke why can’t I”. But yes, if being opinionated comes with the price of being labeled as a “feminist”, you need to get your education right!  What I am doing is simply exercising my right to having likes and dislikes bestowed by the God; it is you and the mindset which does not allow a woman to voice out her verdicts.

All my life, I have learned that it is only natural to avoid something you dislike. In my case it is cooking, in your case it may be going to the gym or perhaps video games. Please take it as a simple preference of mine, as it truly is nothing more than that.

Last but not the least, pay attention to what someone says. I always say I don’t enjoy cooking. I have never said I won’t ever cook. I would do it when and as required. Yes, I stand by that I am someone who doesn’t like cooking, but I am not someone who wouldn’t make even an effort to feed someone. But if this is how a girl’s girl-iness is judged, I refuse to be shackled.  I refuse to compromise or forgo my individuality just to befit the standards of being a woman designed by the society. UNAPOLOGETICALLY! And yes, I am irrevocably in love with eating and trying out new dishes and no one can take that away from me.