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Sexual harassment in Pakistan is real, it is ugly and it is well known. It is a serious social evil that has become increasingly normalized and generalized in our society to the extent that ogling at women from head to toe, passing lewd remarks, sexting teenagers are often wrapped up as men just being men, having some fun. It is their idea of a good night out with friends.
Like really, don’t these pervs have mothers, daughters, and sisters at home too? Hasn’t anyone ever taught them that it is never ok to behave as a lech? Men who don’t require consent or who get off on making women feel uncomfortable make us both fearful and compromised in the workplace, at university and for some even our homes. It is never easy to be a woman, particularly a Pakistani woman. We fight misogyny, chauvinism, and harassment everyday.
In Pakistan, a woman cannot get out in the market without being pinched here and there or being stared at, girls as young as 12 years old are being catcalled by men in their late thirties and wearing jeans means that you are indicating some sort of sexual availability and calling for harassment. At university, as usual, boys signal each other (smile lecherously) when they spot a beautiful girl headed in their direction. It is so common for boys to stare at girls lustfully that such an activity is given a name in Pakistan. It is called “poondi”, a word I learned while studying in Pakistan. These lustful stares are often taken in a funny sense.
Like only recently I watched a video on YouTube where the host had asked a bunch of boys what is that one thing they enjoy doing at university. So many of the guys responded “poondi” and laughed after saying that. As if it is no big deal.They are trying to give us the message that women should feel honored and flattered for being the one they chose to stare at.
Still, these lustful stares are often the bare minimum of sexual harassment. A lot of times things can get pretty out of hand and can rise to the level of serious intimidation.Stories of men making physical advances towards women, embracing and groping them are not uncommon. Usually, such inappropriate comments, unreasonable advances come from men who are in positions of power. It breaks my heart that our women have learned to ignore such uncomfortable situations.
Women know too well from experience that making a stand or getting aggressive is not always the best move and can amount to career suicide for them. That is particularly a problem if you depend on your job to survive so smiling politely becomes like muscle memory for so many working women. While our law continues to protect these predators in power the access of our women to employment and learning in higher education is seriously threatened. With every act of sexual harassment, a woman is worn down little by little, so much so that she wants to disappear entirely than experiencing all of that another time.
Such abhorrent attitudes come from men with a mindset that tells them that their entitlement to power means unquestioned sexual entitlement too. They are telling us that their spiteful attitudes are fundamentally unchangeable and women should be accustomed to such treatment. The idea of consent is ridiculous to them as they don’t believe that their sexuality can be controlled.
It is high time that all of this must stop! Clear and fair guidelines and accompanying processes should be a bare minimum in our institutions and workplaces to protect our women and girls. We demand zero tolerance approach and large-scale cultural and structural shifts in our society to tackle the issue of sexual harassment and inequality so that our women are confident that their voices will not be silenced but are heard and those in power understand that there are consequences.
