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Growing up in a society where ‘what will others say’ and ‘others don’t matter’ has been quite a contrast. Don’t stay out late, people will call you “awara”, whereas most of the parties or functions occur at night because ‘din mein kiya maza aata ha’. Oh God, look at her where is her ‘dupatta’ to God you look like a “behenji” when you dress in proper shalwar kameez (dupatta) or hijab.

Girls face criticism and comparison all their lives especially when that impending time arrives when a girl must brace herself for the ‘rishta walas’ and endure rejection for ridiculous reasons. Turning 25 has been quite a jolly ride. The times may be modern but the thinking remains the same. Hearing things like ’25 ki hogai ha isko jaldi farigh kero’ or it’ll be too late makes you feel like a ‘dunya pe bojh’ like what am I? A cow in bakra mandi?.

It is said that the more educated a society is, the more its thinking pattern evolves. But, that doesn’t really seem to be the case. We educate our girls to be doctors, engineers, Ph.D.’s and tell them that they can be anything they set their hearts to. But when the time comes to get married, all of this changes.

According to the criteria of the ‘rishta walas’, they want educated girls, they should be 18, should know how to make gol rotis, tall, slim, fair complexioned, their families should have their own houses and take care of the whole household regardless of whether their sons are of the same caliber (talk about double standards). People fail to realize how this affects the girls; it increases their insecurities, causes lack of self-esteem, a low morale and most importantly, objectifies them.

Apart from this, social media forums like Instagram and Facebook play a vital role in shattering whatever little self-value is left in girls, when people or their friends start uploading pictures of their marriages even if it doesn’t affect a girl, it impacts their mothers.

Marriage is, without any doubt, an integral part of life but, it’s not something without which one cannot survive. There is a fixed time for everything and it happens whenever it’s fated to be. We should teach our girls to be self-made; focus on women empowerment, as far as marriage is concerned, it’ll happen whenever it’s destined to be.