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I thought Pakistan and its love for patriarchy were slowly fading away as I grew up. I thought that by the time I start a job, (don’t worry, I can cook as well, pretty self-reliant I know) I won’t have to face harassment, judgment, and chauvinistic remarks. But I was so wrong; I gave way too many chances knowing it won’t bring me any good just to avoid controversy.

I worked at a local software house in Lahore for 7 months, as a part of advertisement and marketing. Sad, that I got a job in a company owned by a “Seth” who thinks employing is equals to buying. I was often told to do work that was outside of my job description, I was casually being commented on how good or bad I looked as if I were there because of how I looked. I ignored all of that for I have to admit, I had a great team of coworkers (most of the men too, but good, reasonable and respectful men).

I first realized how sad and disdainful the “Seth” (CEO of the company) was when he hired ushers for a fake chicken food chain that he launched. He literally picked and chose the girls who could wear smaller clothes and looked ‘appealing’ to him for his opening ceremony. He commented on each one of them as if not human but a commodity to attract men.

All I can say is that I was only thankful he never had any direct interactions with me though he often asked my director to let me work directly with the CEO’s department. But whenever he did, either I refused or my director did (thank you lord for a few good men).

5, 6 months down the lane, things started to become worse. He wanted me to use my personal contacts to promote his fake food chain, I tried to dodge the topic a few times but then he would halt me in the office at 8 pm and ask me about any progress. It was against my principles but I was planning to quit in a month or two anyway so I thought might be I could do something if not a lot. And so I got him quite a few reviews and posts. It was all okay until then since I was resigning and he hadn’t really harmed me (except for a few comments that could be easily termed as harassment, of course).

In December 2017, I finally resigned and went on with my studies abroad leaving everything behind. But I did one thing wrong, I left without collecting my last salary. I hardly used to get my salary on time so I thought I could wait this one last time too. I messaged the HR every day from abroad, they used to delay me with stupid excuses.

So then one day I called the Seth sahib, asking for my salary and these were his exact words, “I’ll treat you the way you treated me. Delaying, not doing the jobs you were asked to do”. I was shocked and told him to ask my director if I ever missed a day of work or not did my job. And in reply, he just said, “Well then ask him to give you your salary. I was the one paying all of you actually.” Not knowing what to do or say, I disconnected the phone and thought I’ll pay him a visit when I go to Pakistan.

Mid-February 2018, I randomly visit him to ask when will I get my salary. He smiled, replied he’ll pay me whenever the client I worked for gave him the money since they weren’t happy with my work. And till then, I could keep visiting him in the office or even calling him was fine. Totally done with his low cunning, I asked him to give me my money just like he’d been paying the rest since the past three months already. And then came the time when he showed how low he could fall.

“Ab main kia he boloon, Tumharay jaisi larkiyan hoteen hain jo sab ko apne peechay laga ke kharab kar deti hain. Charsien sharaabien or pata nahi kon kon say nashay karti thi tum yahan baith ke larkon ke saath hain? Or ab paisay maangne aayi ho? Jitni tez tum ho wese he karna hai maine tumharay saath.”, said the filthy, loathsome man (father of two daughters) in front of the entire office and I was left speechless.

It’s deeply saddening how I put my heart in my job only to be accused of doing things unimaginable to me… And it’s even worse to know that living in this country, I can possibly do nothing against him on legal grounds unless I have enough resources.

But I write this and hope and pray for this to be published so that if not all, then at least some ambitious women like me can work in this country.