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Feminism is a subject that is being debated worldwide for a considerable amount of time now. It recently started to take root in Pakistan for the anti-feminists (pun intended). Whenever someone talks about feminism, there is usually an extreme outburst from the anti-feminists (majority) not only in Pakistan but everywhere.

But along with these anti-feminists, there are some feminists also who do not understand the concept and are at the pinnacle of ignorance. They need to do their research before engaging in a neck and neck verbal sparring match. But before going into detail, it should be crystal clear that there is no obligation that only women are feminists like it is no compulsion that only men are anti-feminists. So, let’s get into it.

ANTI-FEMINISTS IN PAKISTAN:

When I talk about the anti-feminists, I talk about the majority of men. These men have so fragile egos that they can’t even give an ear to the fact that a woman might be equal (not better but equal) to them. These men expect to get married to a well-educated woman just so that she can cook and clean. They can’t open their minds to see that there is a life for a woman outside the kitchen. They expect an intellectual woman to cook, clean and take care of the children by herself which is a two person job. And she did not get her academic credentials for household chores.

If you desire a well-educated wife, you should be able enough to afford a maid before making such demands. They stop their sisters, daughters, and wives from doing jobs by blaming the society or by reverting to Islam. If you are so worried about the society go and evaluate her working place and type of job before giving a solid no. If all seems safe and you are satisfied then you have no reason in stopping her. Let her pursue every rational decision she wants to take, don’t stop her from pursuing her dreams just by ending every sentence with ” because you’re a girl”.

Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) is the best exemplary figure for all Muslims as he did all the household chores himself mostly. He (P.B.U.H) fought wars, went through famines and had an entirely new religion to preach. And you say that you deserve special treatment because you worked 8 hours a day? That’s unacceptable.

If the entire paragraph could be concluded with a sentence, it would be: Try to control the crippling paranoia.

FEMINISTS IN PAKISTAN:

There is a famous saying that ”when in Rome, do as Romans do”. Nobody is stopping you from becoming a feminist. Be a feminist but within the limits of the Islamic State. The European feminists, commonly known as ”Feminazis” one of their ”rational” stipulations include it should be okay for a woman to roam around topless. I mean, what the F? more importantly, why the F? Now any self-respecting woman wouldn’t want that. That profound example was only for the extremist Pakistani feminists. Know what your rights are.

If a girl is not given education because she is to be married, speak up. If a girl is not allowed to apply for a job after the rigorous 16-17 years of studying, speak up. If you are beaten vigorously by your husband over the smallest of incidents, speak up. But if you stay at home without a job with the maid doing all the work and if the husband comes from work and asks for tea or sandwich *gasps* you label him as the oppressor. And if someone tries to raise consciousness in a gentle civilized way, these feminists label these people as pigs.

And if your guardian whether it be your father, brother or husband stops you from pursuing something they think is not safe, try to be calm and listen because nobody knows the society better than men in Pakistan. As a Pakistani feminist, your ideal figures should be like Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, Fatimah Jinnah, Arfa Karim, Maryam Mukhtar and much more. Evidently, these figures *ARE* your ideal personalities but still, there are some who idealize personalities like Qandeel Baloch. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally against her being killed in the name of honor. But trying to justify her acts and the fact that a biography of her is made before Abdul Sattar Edhi’s is downright absurd.

If this entire paragraph could be concluded with a sentence, it would be: Try to be less extreme about everything. 

In the end, both of these groups have their flaws. Both of them need to open their minds to gain perspective. It is certainly hard for both of these groups to come to an agreement but not impossible. If we just indulge in civilized dialogues rather than labeling each other as ”pigs” or ”feminazis”, we can slowly, but surely reach a balanced conclusion.