There is always a thought bubble regarding the wedding night that all of us have in our minds, but choose to stay quiet. The much-hyped affair is always something that we keep hearing about from our friend or refer to the internet for although it hardly provides us with accurate information which leads us to have even more questions than before.
But, consulting anyone for that matter can be awkward due to the topic being a big “taboo”. To help you out for that matter, here is a list of information that you should know before your wedding night. Just quick advice, share all of this with your partner as well to be on the same page.
1. It’s not compulsory to have intimate moments on the first night
Enjoy each other’s presence and try not to attach any expectations to it rather be comfortable in being intimate with each other. If you both don’t feel like having that thing on the first night, then it’s perfectly fine. One of you must be too tired and prefer to sleep in your arms, that’s also fine.
Relax and keep things natural between you and your wife. Don’t pressure yourself because that can cause you to be anxious and uneasy at a time when you and your wife should be happy. Instead, spend time getting to know each other and eventually intimate with each other.
2. Intercourse is a healthy and halaal part of life
All of us have been created by Allah (SWT) with desires and there is nothing wrong in that. But, not to forget that Islam has defined some guideline for us to compulsory follow in order to fulfill our desires. Islam defines this act as a blessing from Allah (SWT).
“And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from amongst yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this, there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think.” (Surah 30, Verse 21)
3. It doesn’t have to hurt
The penetration for the first time might be a little painful and pressure can be expected. However, it’s not supposed to be painful instead, it should be pleasurable. In case it hurts a lot, then stops right away because it might indicate that you need more lubrication or foreplay.
The Prophet (PBUH) said, “No one among you should have intercourse with his wife like animals; rather there should be a messenger between them.” When asked about the messenger, he said, “It means kissing and talking.”
4. Don’t skip foreplay
Don’t hurry for the main event, instead try to engage other things like kissing, touching so that it becomes easy for both men and women to have an orgasm.
The Prophet (PBUH) said, “…every play of a believer is void except in three cases: horse-riding, archery and mutual foreplay with his wife these are haqq.”
5. Virginity cannot be defined by “Hymen Check”
The amount of hymenal tissues varies from person to person, some might have thinner, filled with fewer blood vessels or worn away. Thus, the tissues can tear from different things such as physical activity. Hence, it’s completely pointless to set the hymen as a marker of whether someone had intercourse before or not.
6. Bleeding varies from person to person.
It happens because due to the tearing of the hymen, which is basically the tissues inside the female private part. Every woman has a different type of hymenal tissue, some aren’t even born with any. Although, some women might bleed a lot so there is no way to predict that.
Hazrat Ali Riza said: “There is no problem as long as he uses any part of his own body upon her, but he should not use anything other than his body on her.”
7. A Man Might Come Quickly But Don’t Make Orgasm Your Goal
Don’t worry about it and keep your partner’s needs as the top priority. Turn all your attention to pleasing your partner. In the Quranic expression, for not making it wild:
“Like cattle, nay they are more astray; they are the heedless ones.” (7: 179)
8. Erectile Dysfunction Should Not Worry You
Remind yourself of all the things that feel good rather than focusing on this because it happens to anyone. There can be various reasons for that including the pressure and nerves so take a deep breath and stay normal.
9. Talk To Your Spouse
In case if you have been exposed to filthy movies, then you should remember that real life intercourse is different from what is shown in movies etc. Plus, no man is allowed to make this matter public in order to publicize his respective wife. It is in Hadith –
The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The evilest of the people to Allah (SWT) on the Day of Resurrection will be the man who consorts with his wife and then publicizes her secret. (Muslim).
10. Anal Intercourse And Positions
This sort of intercourse is forbidden in Islam. It is the worst ever kind of sexual practice that is not even done by wild animals.
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq quoting the Prophet that “The anus of women is haram for my community.”
11. Intercourse is not allowed during mensuration
Women often experience mood swings during this time of the month which is why the husbands are advised to consider this natural phenomenon. During this period women should not remove their lower garment.
The Qur’an says:
They ask you about menstruation. Say: “Menstruation is a discomfort (for women). Do not establish sexual relations with them during the menses and do not approach them (sexually) until the blood stops. Then when they have cleansed themselves, you go into them as Allah has commanded you.” (2:222)
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