It is ironic how some of our most important events in life get blindfolded by culture and traditions. No matter how reasonable a woman is when it comes to signing nikah-nama, she will blindfold herself in wedlock without batting an eye. Why? because people frown upon that. The act of reading the nikah-nama threatens the pride of everyone involved in the wedding. And may I add here, in Pakistan, it’s not the marriage between two people. It’s the marriage between two full-fledged khandaan that look after every minor activity taking place at both sides.
CSP – Dr. Sassi Malik Sher
This coming from a well-known woman who not only is an MBBS doctor but now a civil servant, raising issues every now and then about things no one talks about. It is impressive how all of these sisters cleared CSS and are now working in their own domains whilst addressing such social issues and taboos. All it does is remind us of our own responsibility to ourselves and to the nation.
This girl, however, challenges that mentality. She sets herself as an example to school people on reading the nikah-nama before vowing for the union between the two families.
We read the documents in office which we have to sign in our names, it is strange why reading your own nikah-nama is considered a taboo. I read the form two days before to understand all the clauses before finally signing it on my Nikah recently.#Breaking_Stereotypes#Read pic.twitter.com/fVNhmRRFLI
— Dr. Sassi Malik Sher (@SassiMalikSher) May 26, 2020
Valid concern
She raises a very valid concern. She says, pointing at the working women, “We read the documents in the office which we have to sign in our names, it is strange why reading your own nikah-nama is considered a taboo. I read the form two days before to understand all the clauses before finally signing it on my Nikah recently.” Isn’t she right?! The girl just broke the stereotype and is on her mission to school the rest of us.
It is the same dilemma as the one a woman faces and lets go of when she is asked to get married to a complete stranger. Some situations are even worse when either of the spouses wouldn’t have spoken to their better half until the first day of their wedding. I can’t comment further on that, it’s simply absurd and beyond my senses.
So why is it important?
Ladies, please sit down for this for I’m about to enlighten you on things you have never known before.
Do you know your right to meh’r? What is a nikah-nama and what does it signify?
Nikah-nama is a written document that two Muslim partners sign when they enter into a civil union. As per the Muslim Family Laws Ordinance 1961, this nikah-nama is the legal evidence that lays out rights and obligations agreed upon by the two Muslim partners.
It isn’t mandatory for a religious cleric to authenticate your nikah. Your father or an adult can supervise the partnership and officiate the nikah.
In clause 13-16, you will find all the questions relating to your meh’r. Meh’r is the marrying woman’s gift, a gesture of respect to the woman. Its purpose is to provide financial protection in the event of a divorce initiated by the woman. It MUST be paid. Ladies, please note.
Once you read the nikah-nama, you will find the kinds of meh’r you’re eligible for. And it is sad to see women hesitating on asking for meh’r under the fear “log kya kaheingay”. Little do they know, it’s their right.
Clause 17
It asks the parties to list down any conditions they may have which shouldn’t supersede shariah law. You can even mention whether you’d like to work after marriage or complete your studies. There’s an open room for anything like that.
Clause 18-19
This clause accommodates the right to divorce. Whether the husband will delegate the right to divorce or whether the husband’s right to divorce is curtailed in any way — this clause helps you determine that.
This is not just it. Download a copy of nikah-nama and look for yourself all the rights you were given in it but your ignorance blindfolded you to take advantage of it.
Twitteraties take on this
That’s nice. In my case, my and my other half decided to fill and read all nikkah clauses an evening before our nikkah day. On nikkah day, we both just signed, did Dua, n celebrated. My parents are really cool to not mind rational things. We both r from different sects but happy.
— Saleem Khan (@meelasviews) May 27, 2020
It never is considered as taboo but no one bothers about it. Both husband and wife must read and understand Nikkah nama before marriage. Marriage is not just signing a paper but it comes with obligations, do and don’t.
— زارا علی (@zaraali2020) May 26, 2020
We read the documents in office which we have to sign in our names, it is strange why reading your own nikah-nama is considered a taboo. I read the form two days before to understand all the clauses before finally signing it on my Nikah recently.#Breaking_Stereotypes#Read pic.twitter.com/fVNhmRRFLI
— Dr. Sassi Malik Sher (@SassiMalikSher) May 26, 2020
We read the documents in office which we have to sign in our names, it is strange why reading your own nikah-nama is considered a taboo. I read the form two days before to understand all the clauses before finally signing it on my Nikah recently.#Breaking_Stereotypes#Read pic.twitter.com/fVNhmRRFLI
— Dr. Sassi Malik Sher (@SassiMalikSher) May 26, 2020
Definitely when we read even the ingredients on a jam jar, this decision is for life https://t.co/WlHoeIZlG7
— Fariha – freedom, fun, finesse (@Farihaq1) May 27, 2020
When I inquired about why the divorce clause from the papers that we were filling out for my bhabhi is being crossed out, my father got so furious & I got a pretty bad scolding! Never opened my mouth after that! So yes it’s a taboo that shouldn’t be! https://t.co/s6cR5Al67G
— Zuha Bari (@ZuhaBari) May 27, 2020
I know women who would read a long ass Facebook post about humaima shah’s latest scandal, but wouldn’t bother reading a 3 line document if their life depended on it because “choro kia karna hai”, “kuch nai hota”, “aisey nai hota”
Most of our women don’t seem interested in rights https://t.co/n8JBK9BANb
— Jafri (@SmaackJaw) May 27, 2020
We read the documents in office which we have to sign in our names, it is strange why reading your own nikah-nama is considered a taboo. I read the form two days before to understand all the clauses before finally signing it on my Nikah recently.#Breaking_Stereotypes#Read pic.twitter.com/fVNhmRRFLI
— Dr. Sassi Malik Sher (@SassiMalikSher) May 26, 2020
Now, this is interesting. People are now becoming vocal about this stance. Good for us! Now women who have suffered because of never paying heed to the benefits it gives can now see what they had missed.
Dr. Sassi and the rest of her sisters have maintained quite an impressive professional portfolio all these years. And they don’t stand behind when addressing social issues; you will see them whole-heartedly helping the CSS aspirants by either sharing some insights into the life of a civil servant or giving out tips on acing CSS. This time, it was for another cause, which we highly value.
What do you think of the story? Let us know in the comments section below!
