The Quran and the life spent by the Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) act as the complete set of guidelines for the Muslims. Marriage is considered as one of the most important aspects Muslims need to pay attention to yet somehow, we give this least of our importance.

Islam guides the Muslims to spend less on the marriage – a nikkah and a walima are considered sufficient for the couple to begin the new chapter of their lives. However, we manage to spend most of our fortune to please the society, indulge in dowry and Barri like it sort of a trade we are making.

One of the many aspects which disturbs a marriage is living in a joint-family system.

While Joint Family is Considered as a Family Setup which Adds Love and Value in the Family, it Disturbs Many Couples and the Families

The obligation of the newly wedded wife cooking meals for the entire family, the disagreements between the mother in law and the other bahus and the fact that the responsibilities are imposed as if they are a competition, the married couple in the end suffers.

The husband/son most of the time becomes the victim of this situation as well. The parents ‘blackmail’ their sons into not leaving the household despite having the support of their other children. The parents make it seem like an Islamic debate. However, the Quran nowhere mentions that the bahu is responsible for serving the entire family, including the parents of the husband.

Deserving Privacy of their Own

“They (your wives) are your garments, and you are their garments..” [2:187]

A married couple deserves privacy of their own. They are entitled to enjoy their married life the way they desire – stepping out of the home, dining out and being independent. Living with parents often acts as a burden to many couples in this aspect.

According to Quran in Surah Nisaa

The Surah Nisaa reflects three very important aspects that shed light on the rights of the wives.

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them, guard.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286, narrated by Umm Salamah, the Prophet (saws) said: “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272, narrated by Abu Hurayrah: “When Allah’s Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he replied, “The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254, narrated by Anas ibn Malik: “Allah’s Messenger (saws) said, “When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes.”

In the light of the stated Sunnah and the Quran, the wife has no obligation or duty towards the family of her husband – she does not the responsibility to serve her in-laws. According to the mentioned Islamic verses, the responsibility of the wife is to make her husband happy and satisfied, which does not include looking after his family.

This, however, does not mean that she has to be rude towards them or even dishonor them. Building a relationship with the parents is important for both, the husband and the wife.

The Deed of Ehsan 

If the wife, a believing woman, decides to live with the parents of her husband and serve them, it should be taken as a deed of Ehsan, a deed that needs to be respected and appreciated for whatever she is doing shows the greatness of her heart and not a responsibility given to her by Allah.

Indeed, Allah loves those who perform good deeds and He always blesses them with the rewards.