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So last year, I got married!! Yahoo!! No, this article is not to celebrate that! It is to tell you what all weird things are expected of me not by my mother in law (considering that unfortunately, they are the most demonized creatures) but from society as a whole. So let me put this in context!
Scene 1:
I am a chashmish (I freaking love it, it’s part of who I am) independent girl who travels alone, hikes mountains and makes gol parathas! I like a raw look, without makeup – sometimes a lipstick and an eyeliner are good to pump my game up (Just a personal preference, nothing against people who like make-up) and I love wearing stuff that’s comfortable, I mean I wouldn’t wear a heel more than 2 inches. I can’t walk in anything more than that and hence I won’t wear that. And before you judge me, let me tell you I am not a tomboyish girl. Good! So this is me!
Scene 2:
I get married and I am asked to look more “married”. What the hell is that now? I asked a few people to tell me what that expectation means in detail and this is what I got
Number One:
Wear more flashy clothes with more reds and pinks loaded with beads and sequences, so I glitter like a newlywed (Hain? Really!! Why!! )
Number Two:
Put more makeup, with more of pinks in your blush- okay I admit this is an exaggeration – but I am actually expected to put up makeup every time I go out especially on parties. This is so that I look more beautiful … But what if I told you, I already think that I am really beautiful and that I don’t need your approval?? And yeah, I also need to throw away my spectacles and put on contact lenses because married women shouldn’t look like a geek (Just kill me on this … maar daalo, bas maar daalo!)
Number Three:
Load yourself with jewelry, err… gold jewelry and show it off… So I need to put a few rings and bangles and necklace when I go around to meet friends because if you have it why not wear it all! Weird isn’t it? But I have to do it because XYZ phupho needs to know that my dad and my husband got me a lot of gold when I got married! Okay honestly …this is ridiculous!
Number Four:
Act more feminine which directly translates to fragile in their dictionary!! WHY?? Women aren’t always fragile. Mothers, for example, are an epitome of strength rather than the newlyweds who are expected to be the torchbearers of fake fragility.
Number Five:
Be nice to people even if they are annoying AF. I just got married, I didn’t turn into a saint! If you cross your limit, I am gonna show you that line… it has nothing to do with my marital status! Trust me!!
Having said all of this… Please don’t be annoyed if you like to do any of these 5 things… Some women like to “Look married”… And that’s good for them, but others do not. Let’s stop judging women on how they look and how they should look. Let them decide what they are comfortable in and what suits them best!
