A country where everyone’s your auntie/uncle. I can’t claim insight into every Asian culture, but this is pretty common across the continent. Chinese, Malaysians, Indians and Sri Lankans do it as well.

The essence of calling any stranger auntie or uncle was adapted from our neighboring countries, as there’s no fault in that. The terms were introduced and institutionalized in the Caribbean by the indentured Indian laborers. The sense of brotherhood was so deep-rooted then, that everyone was considered a member of the extended family. Thereby, giving oneself the sense of security and familiarity this polished into referring elders out of respect, even if they are not relatives.

But why did it transition into being offensive?

Pakistani’s have developed an image in our mind about how an aunty is supposed to look like; old, obese, tied super long or super short hair, glasses, and desi clothes. That is who we compare ourselves to when called an aunty; an instant reminder of our age. Even though getting older is not bad, it’s the life stage everyone has to go through, no one will remain youthful forever.

Even more offensive when thirty-something men/women are referred to this term in their twenties. Make sure that the person is substantially older than you before you start calling them this or else they will be displeased.

In other parts of the world, it’s appropriate to call a person by their first name but inappropriate in our culture, although it’s okay to address every living thing as your relative. We automatically assume that if we use this term, it’ll be a comfortable conversation starter, whereas, that person is already hoping you to shut up. But there are limits; you don’t want to lose your job by calling the company’s CEO an uncle/Aunty.

Some even say that “aunty” is just a sexist way of putting down a strong woman which brings us to the term of calling a woman an “Aurat” and they correct you by saying, “I am not an Aurat” or “I am just a girl”.

‘Aurat’ means woman. Yet somehow, we gave it a different meaning, but if you call someone an ‘Admi’ which means a Man, he couldn’t be more proud. Here again, age is the factor, a female is quickly reminded that she’s getting older because the society has hardwired us that young age is where all the magic happens and after that, you won’t be appealing to your suitors.

Calling someone an Aurat should be just as empowering, as when you are called a woman. It’s when a female transitions into a stage of life which is more mature, respected, validated and alluring. An Aurat/woman is graceful and wise. She is gentle yet strong, passionate yet emotionally stable. She knows who she is and she’s comfortable in her own skin.

So next time, why don’t we ask people about what term, Uncle/Auntie or Mr./Madam they want us to address them as?

And when someone calls you an Aurat with a sarcastic tone, say thank you.