Disclaimer*: The articles shared under 'Your Voice' section are sent to us by contributors and we neither confirm nor deny the authenticity of any facts stated below. Parhlo PInk will not be liable for any false, inaccurate, inappropriate or incomplete information presented on the website. Read our disclaimer.

Since childhood, I have had lots of old elderly people around me. I grew up watching them closely and my mom. As a young woman in university and the workplace, I had quite a few middle-aged ladies who were always grumpy and sensitive. People around would call them names and make fun.

When I got married, I was exposed to a further bigger share of women since post marriage, socialization amongst women becomes an important thing. I saw a strong pattern. A really particularly strong one. And I realized it has nothing to do with young and old generation. I saw a pattern of growing bitterness, negativity and cold attitude in women. The phase of age that I am in, stemming from a traditional South Asian societal setup (despite not even fully representing it so); I see a lot of choices being made.

I see women unprepared to tackle negative attitudes around. I then see young fresh minds delving right into the storm trying to address it the way they can. You are influenced, sweet talked and often coerced into a certain fixated feminine identity deemed appropriate by the society. From what you wear, how you carry yourself to bigger decisions about your career, marriage, and reproductive choices. You are constantly exposed to direct and indirect discussions directed either at you or women of your age from a gathering of complete strangers to family events.

What happens next?

You break away and reasoning it for a breather, form groups of venting it out. Where nothing but mini versions of same talks are reproduced. Only this time, you are targeting some other group for their choices while proudly defending yours.

From phone calls to other forms of media and support groups, it then becomes a huge window of ‘light gossip’ and ‘casual venting out’. Only, it does little benefit and more harm. Unfinished accounts of troubles attract strong reactions and call for justice. When you read such half-finished stories and solid suggestions about them, you tremble with fear looking at the number of assumptions, flawed reasoning and quick judgments involved.

Without any healthy, proactive and wise intervention of sources, the very women who set out to tackle the disruptive/negative issues around them, succumb to the same cycle and gradually become the same without realizing so.

Everyone complains of taunts, sarcasm, and bitterness they are exposed to. Very few and rarely ever pause their surroundings to analyze the choice they themselves have in tackling the situations with patience and wisdom. Mind you, I, very well know the difference between patience and staying a victim. The latter generally makes you the kind of person you’re detesting to become.

There are life coaching courses, online therapies, in person certified empathetic services now as widely available as Facebook support groups online in the very society that we exist. If you’re going through a difficult phase of your life and struggling with emotions of any sort, please try to seek wise, professional support before using different windows for casual venting and gossiping.