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With the start of a new morning, I am eternally grateful to God for the advent of technology and the rise of the digital age. It bestows us with smartphones, tablets and the internet world, opening up a vast audience for us at our disposal. So while we sit sipping coffee and chatting on Whatsapp, my dear friends, we rarely realize what a positive effect digital media could be making on lives; especially some female lives.

Many Facebook groups have sprung up, which are female exclusive and have provided women with shoulders to cry on and ears to hear their stories out. One recurring theme in these stories seems to be of marital rape, especially in the social circles of Pakistani women.

Now, before a whole debate is stirred on the said Pakistani women being the ultimate pseudo-feminists, who give their own twisted views on religion, it is important to establish one fact here that Islam gave women the protection and respect which is being abused at the hands of husbands today, the same husbands who were supposed to be their “garments”.

O humanity! We created you from a male and female and made you into peoples and tribes so that you might come to know each other. The noblest among you in Allah’s sight is the one who guards against evil [one with the most taqwa]. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware. (Surat al-Hujurat: 13)

O Children of Adam! We have sent down clothing to you to conceal your private parts, as well as fine apparel, but the garment of heedfulness-that is best! That is one of Allah’s Signs, so that, hopefully, you will pay heed. (Surat al-A’raf: 26)

As the above verses of the Quran show to us, time and again we are being warned to be heedful and to guard ourselves against evil; however, that is one thing we are unable to understand and apply in the case of marital rape. Unfortunately, the definition of rape is still hazy in the minds of both Pakistani men and women alike; marriage is considered to be a document of consent for sexual relations at all times, and the concept of consent in a marriage is something not many think of or agree to. It has been this way for generations and is continuing because we let it. Ignorance may be bliss in the old adage, but not in the real world where women are still considered mere chattel in men’s eyes.

The sad part is that women are not only subjected to this cruelty but also have nobody to turn to in such cases. They are ostracized by family and society alike, with nowhere to turn to. As of today, not even one case of marital rape has officially been reported to the authorities in Pakistan. While a report was published in October 1999, in which estimates of the victims of spousal abuse were between 70% to 90%. However, this still does not specifically point towards marital rape and addresses the more broad term of abuse, which could be verbal or psychological as well. For all we know, this could be an everyday practice behind closed doors of most of the homes within this country.

Unfortunately, in Pakistan’s constitution, there is no punishment or law addressing marital rape; the bill of 2006 that discussed domestic violence did not touch the sensitive issue of marital rape. The majority of the women in Pakistan are not aware of their rights and often take marital rape as part of their marriage contract. The self-shame of disclosing such a matter or discussing it with family and the lack of support from the family is a major reason for women being forced to take refuge in silence and submit to the torture of marital rape.

The problem with marital rape is not only is it wrong and against our values and teachings as Muslims, but it is also a cultural and sexist issue. Marital rape can be used by the husband to establish supremacy and exert power, as well as psychologically condition the wife to believe that she is his property and it is his right over her to do as he pleases.

The fact that women have now started talking about this “taboo” topic, shows that awareness is increasing and that they want their voice to be heard, even if it is through anonymous posts on social media. While marital rape is an issue in almost every country, culture and society of the world, the fact of the matter is that in Pakistan it is yet something that is to come to the limelight in a way that allows us to properly take up the issue and take measures towards solving it. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other social media platforms provide us with the perfect opportunity to band together and not only raise awareness but provide support to helpless victims of marital rape as well as find long-lasting solutions for it.