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There are majorly two types of girls according to my findings.

1. The bubbly and chatty ones
2. The sober and serious ones

I belong to the latter category since childhood and was most famous as ‘the sober one’ among my friends and family who always weighed her words and then spoke. I cannot speak random or speak a lot through my laughter have the capability to echo through the entire building, but it only happens when I have a bunch of “My People” around.

Since girls of a talkative and friendly nature have a visible dominance, the quiet ones always feel left out in the social circle. They ought to be very less noticeable among people, that too comes with no surprise. I used to see girls having endless talks, chirping, laughing, giggling, gossiping and thought to myself, why can’t I be like that? Why can’t I initiate talks? Why can’t I jump into a random group talk and make myself comfortable? Why can’t I pass a smile to everyone and act like we have been friends forever? I just couldn’t do any of the above. Sending a Facebook friend request, or hitting the follow button on IG was a complete no-no for me!

I was assumed as self-centered, proud and egotistical. These were the very first impressions I had on people right after the exchange of names. A very dear friend of mine revealed her opinion about me as soon as we got friend zoned, that too after a lot of struggle from both our sides and that was “I always saw you as the angry one before”. The quiet ones do give a tough time to everyone, don’t they? Maybe because they are afraid to engage in idle talks having no appropriate matter. Or maybe because they hold a firm belief on “a shut mouth gathers no flies”.

Anyway, then comes the age when our desi society finds a girl all ready to be adorned with the best of clothes and shoes for that one special day, showing up with trays or trolleys carrying a plate of circularly aligned biscuits overlapping each other (most commonly), a dish containing kebabs (shami kebabs to be precise) and a fork, a crystal bowl of nimco (not very common but still practiced), the famous yellow “bakery wala” cake cut in slices and set in the centre of a plate overlapping each other, and lastly a tea set reserved in every home for special guests containing the most “ehtimaam se banai gai Chae” because she is now eligible for the mandatory match-making and being examined from the first hair strand on her head to her last toenail. My family was actually worried and concerned about me because of the mere fact that I wouldn’t talk, A LOT!

That’s when I started to build an inferiority complex inside myself. I used to invent topics in my head so that I can have something to talk about. But how could I talk? Couldn’t I just be a good listener? Is ‘talking’ an obligatory part of a girl’s identity? Since we lived abroad back then, my grandmother used to call my mother saying time and again k “Us se kaho sab se baat kiya karey agey barh barh k.”Because there are girls out there who don’t need a push to engage in convos.

There are girls who have the ability to pass a smile or greeting as a result of a mere eye contact. There are girls who can easily match their chemistry with others befriending mostly everyone on their way. There are many who can have endless talks over a cell phone and need to be reminded about their pending chores. There are many of them. Plenty of them. And I wasn’t one of them. (Read ‘I am’ instead of wasn’t)

My mother used to force me to do so. Sometimes scolding, sometimes piyar se in a taunting voice and then dara ke. But since it wasn’t in my nature, I had to fight myself to obey. I got rebellious back in those days. Confronting people and meeting them was the last thing I wanted to do. My mother while randomly talking to her friends used to say “She is all sober. I am so worried about her”. And then 2, 3 aunties breaking the typical aunty-ism came to my rescue saying “Sober aur suljhi hui larkian aqalmand hoti hain, humein tou aesi he pasand hain”

Not that I got married to any of those aunties sons yet happily married to the man of my dreams Alhamdolillah, but this one compliment boosted me up. It made me realize a few things.

1. You should be comfortable in your own skin.
2. It’s not obnoxious to be all sober and serious.
3. Do not, I repeat DO NOT compare yourself with any of your sibling, friend, cousin, or any other XYZ.
4. Whatever nature you possess, you should be able to carry it in the best possible and dignified manner.

Just love yourself the way you are and others will start loving you. Show your hidden potentials to the world without a comparison to others. And one day you surely will be acknowledged for who you are. The true you. The honest you. The real you. Concluding this with a self-invented quote,

“The beauty of quiet ones lies in their silence the same as the charm of chatty ones lies in their talks”