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Every person goes through bad experiences at different stages of life where they’re really broken up, and feel they are standing all alone in life, drowning down deep in their own thoughts, and just want a shoulder to cry on and to tell each and everything to a person they admire the most and have the best emotional connection with. But they’re afraid to open up when it comes to their stories. They hear different voices around them saying: ‘’you must be quiet, must keep it to you, what if people don’t understand and end up making fun of you, don’t speak up, keep it to yourself’’.
My question to you here is, why do you choose not to speak? Why keep it to yourself? Why not let others know what crash of thunder you are going through by keeping it to yourself, by keeping that scar to your heart?
SPEAK UP!! People are not going to understand what you’re going through until and unless they’ve not been through the very same situation. They don’t see that situation as you are seeing it. Society is built up by thoughts of our own. What we think of others is the reflection of us. And this society teaches us to be silent and let the things happen as they are happening.
Let me share one of my friend’s story with you. We studied in the same school and college. She belongs to an orthodox family and had a backward thought. Her father was very strict and wanted his orders to be obeyed by everyone at any cost. My friend was really afraid of her father. He didn’t let her go out for many reasons. He used to quarrel and even beat her mother almost on a daily basis on every issue. She shares her problems with me and while talking about her mother, she often used to cry. I wasn’t able to do anything in return so I just used to console her.
In my opinion, she was really very brave to bear all that at her home. After passing 2nd year, her father asked her to stay at home and get herself ready to get married to the person she was engaged to in her childhood. Her dream was to become a doctor and she was excellent in her studies. She passed her intermediate with excellent marks. It was her family tradition that they don’t educate their daughters after matric but due to her mother’s support, she has continued her studies. But now, she had no other option.
So, by carrying the weight on her shoulders, she decided to quit her studies. I know what kind of disaster was she going through when she chose to let her guard down in front of his own father. Father is the one a daughter believes and expects will stand by her no matter what. But in her case and even most of the cases like this, fathers’ so-called respect, so-called family-traditions, are really important than happiness and peace of their child.
Anyways, we all were busy in applying for universities and she was the one getting herself prepared to lead her life as her father and family wanted her to live. One day, I got a call from her and she told me that she was getting married. I congratulated her and asked her what she was feeling and if she was happy or not. She remained quiet for seconds and said I don’t feel anything now maybe I’m used to it or I just want the things to go as they’re going. I told her that she must have raised voice once for her right.
Her reply to this hit my soul so hard. She said, “There was no one by my side to speak for me but I’m tolerating all this for my sisters so what has been done with me should not be done with them. My silence is just for them.” This is the point where I realized she has sacrificed something big for her sisters. She had the chance to do something for herself but she saved it, just for the betterment of her sisters.
This silence in her was inherited from her mother. Her mother used to dig that all for years in herself. She just opts that by seeing this in her mother. I’m not saying not to tolerate and give the same quarreling response, but at least we must speak up for our rights for once so that later in life, we don’t regret anything. However, after putting in all your efforts, things don’t get better, then leave them to God.
Today, our unhappiness stems from the distance we have created between ourselves and our God. But at the end, I must remind you that He is always waiting for us to turn back. No matter how far we fall astray.
